


Reacquaintance

by butrfac14



Category: Hunger Games - Fandom, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gale tells Dad jokes, I couldn’t resist, Karaoke, Katniss POV, Madge is hilarious, This is probably the most random story ever, and, completed work, everlark, gadge - Freeform, no sign of a love triangle here, now there's a little drama, that’s what she said
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-10-06 04:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 31,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17338769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butrfac14/pseuds/butrfac14
Summary: A/UPeeta comes back to their hometown - he’s been gone for 8 years and Katniss doesn’t know what she’s feeling.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first multi chapter fic. I may change the rating later if necessary. Comments are welcome and thank you for reading! None of these characters are mine.
> 
> Find me on tumblr @butrfac14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve reworked chapters 1-3. I wrote these without a beta, and feel like they were pretty rough. It’s been bothering me, so I’m digging back in and making some changes. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading!  
> I’m on tumblr @butrfac14

“What do you think?”

“Hmm?” I reply, glancing up at him from my book. It’s an uncomfortable, sticky afternoon, and I know that the job Gale is working on is not a pleasant one. A thunderstorm had rolled through on Monday night, leaving shingles missing from our roof. He is doing the repairs today, his only day off this week. I’m grateful for the help.

But apparently, I’m not grateful enough to give my best friend my undivided attention. If we’re being honest, he is a bit of a ranter when he gets going. Sometimes I just tune him out.

“Were you listening to anything that I just said to you?” Gale should know better by now.

Waving my paperback at him I say, “You know that I’m on a reading bender here. And I’m two chapters from the end…”

“Okay, okay-I’ll let it slide this time.”

I watch as a drop of sweat drips from his forehead, another rivulet running past his brow and down his neck. He uses the hem of his worn t-shirt to wipe the remainder out of his eyes. “For real though- did you hear me?”

Oh, I must have missed something important. “No, I guess I didn’t.” I set my book down, gesturing for him to continue.

Gale bends over to pick up the roofing materials that he’d managed to scrounge up for us out of the shed in the backyard. The building was technically on our property, but was mostly full of the Hawthorne’s stuff.

“Madge called me last night on her way home.” Madge is Gale’s girlfriend, and she’s been a good friend of mine since high school. 

“She heard through the grapevine that David Mellark is moving back to town and taking over the bakery.“ I do remember hearing the news that the elder Mr. Mellark-who had to be in his 70’s by now-had been diagnosed with some type of cancer.

It had caused a lot of talk around town, gossip about what would happen to the generations-old family business. Mr. Mellark had been running the bakery alone for years.

“Apparently David divorced his wife earlier this year…”

 _It’s about time._  I find my mind wandering to a Mellark boy who I still think about in quiet moments. His memory steals in on me when I least expect it.

“And he’s coming back with the youngest one- what was his name? Peter?”

“It’s Peeta” I say.

“Yeah- that’s right, how did I forget that? The middle one was my age. Philip. Kind of a little shithead. Peeta was in your grade, wasn’t he?”

I nod at Gale, a nonchalant look on my face. Why shouldn’t it be nonchalant? I haven’t seen or heard anything about Peeta Mellark in the last 8 years- not since his family packed up and moved to the capitol.

It doesn’t make sense for my heart rate to pick up a little at the thought of seeing him again.

“What’d you think about that, Catnip?” I wrinkle my nose at Gale, but he just has a look on his face that says ‘gotcha’. 

He could always read me. “I forgot till now, you two had a ‘thing’!”

“There was no ‘thing’!”

“Nuh-uh,” that bastard, “there was too a thing. I remember now!”

“Gale…”

“Katniss…”

“There wasn’t a thing- we weren’t really anything. Kind of friends, I guess?” I stumble over my words, struggling to find the right thing to say.

It shouldn’t be that hard.

Because it is true- Peeta and I had never really been a thing. I’d known him since kindergarten, and Panem was a small town. 

I remember him bringing homemade cupcakes to elementary school on his birthday every year. We didn’t often have the extra money for bakery goods from Mellark's- and nothing from a box mix compared with those cupcakes. Peeta’s father would sometimes help his son carry the cupcakes in but never his mother- no one ever saw her. 

There was no reason why I should have paid close attention to Peeta, but I did. And I knew that the interest was mutual, because I often glanced up at him during class, just to see his large blue eyes flit away from me. 

I never gave it much thought then, because my childhood was a simple time in my life. Our family was small and close. My father ran a landscaping business. We had a large garden in the summertime, and my father was an avid hunter and outdoorsman who took us camping on the weekends.

It was on those trips that he introduced me to archery, his first love and mine too.

I will never forget that day when I fired off an arrow into the target, hitting my first bullseye. Dad scooped me up and swung me around, his musical laugh ringing through the forest. It was a sound so beautiful that the birds fell silent in its wake.

I miss my father so much.

And I suppose that’s where my real story with Peeta Mellark began, with the loss of my father. From one chapter of my life closing, and a new one beginning- painfully blank, empty like a sheet of paper waiting to be filled.

And if I’m being honest with myself, there was a ‘thing’.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the first of two flashbacks. Hope you enjoy!

It’s strange how you can remember all of the inconsequential details of a traumatic day. I recall so much about the day my father died. I was almost 14 and my sister was 10.

“It's raining buckets out there.” Dad remarked that morning, leaning back against our kitchen counter and sipping his coffee. “I guess today’s a wash.” He scratched at the scruff on his cheeks, seemed to be weighing his options. Days like that one weren’t uncommon in the spring and it usually meant a day at home for him.

I gathered up Prim and I’s breakfast dishes and slipped them into the sink, giving Mom a kiss on the cheek before turning to my father to do the same. He smelled like Old Spice and coffee, which doesn’t sound particularly good, but I’d give anything to experience that on him again.

I’d bury my face in his neck and never let go.

“Love you Dad. Love you Mom.” I called out to them as Prim and I dashed out the door. The bus was pulling up to the curb and we didn’t want to be late.

“Love you baby.” Dad replied and raised his hand in a slight wave, his voice carrying out the door, muting the sound of something my mother was saying. It had the most beautiful timbre, deep and melodic. A waste of a beautiful voice, a beautiful man.

That was the last time I saw my father alive.

I was told later that he had just left the nursery, when he’d been hit by a man driving an oversized work truck. The truck driver had blown through the stop sign, he didn’t see my father’s car. Dad went straight through the windshield of his gray Volkswagen. He wasn’t wearing his seatbelt, and he hadn’t turned on the headlights.

It was stupid, and it was tragic.

I’ll never forget standing next to the rest of my family at the gravesite, holding Prim’s small hand in mine. Mom was barely upright. We watched as they lowered what was left of my father into the ground- the man who made our lives complete and loved us unconditionally was now gone.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

It is a small group that gathers back at our house following the service that day. We don’t have much extended family, just my Great Uncle Haymitch- a curmudgeonly drunk who still manages to function as an attorney of family law.

Our long-time neighbor Hazelle Hawthorne and her family are there as well. We might as well be related, with the amount of time that our families spend together.

The day just drags on forever. I feel blank, in a fog- voices drone on for hours it seems. My mom sits staring off into space, and Hazelle comforts my sister, who has been quietly sobbing since we returned home.  

Haymitch takes me aside, telling me that it would be better if Prim stays with the Hawthornes tonight. “Your mom just isn’t rearly here right now, sweetheart. And I think you could use a break too.”

It’s true, I just want to be left alone. 

I haven’t really been able to sleep since the accident. Every time I lay down at night my mind just won’t let me slide into oblivion, and it’s left me exhausted and strung out.

But after everyone has left the house, I find myself getting my bicycle out of the garage.

I need to get out of here.

There’s nothing to do, and nowhere to go, so I end up riding around aimlessly, eventually coming to a stop at a park that’s farther away from home then I usually go.

I realize that I have been out for so long that the sun is sinking low in the sky. The park is deserted, and I wheel my bicycle over to the swings, sitting down in one. Grasping the chain links between my fingers, I give myself a little push with my toes and sail into the air.

“Katniss?”

I turn towards the voice behind me. _What is he doing here?_  His face is swollen, and there are scrapes and cuts all over him. 

I didn’t know that Peeta Mellark was the kind of boy that got into fights. If it were any other day of my life I’d be shocked, but today I’m too full of my own emotions to give it any more thought.

“Hi, Peeta. Do you want to sit down?” I wave to the swing on my right.

He plops down and glances over at me. “I’m so sorry about your dad, Katniss. I bet that you miss him so much.”  I look up at him and he returns my gaze intently. “How are you feeling?” 

I think about that for a moment. Peeta is the first person to ask me that question specifically. Everyone else’s first concern had been for my mother or my sister, people assumed that I was fine. I was the quiet girl, the strong older sister.

So to my surprise, I open my mouth and begin to speak. “How do I feel? Sad, scared, angry. I can only sleep for an hour or two at a time, and then I wake up and it’s like I’ve forgot, you know? And then I just remember it all over again. It never stops and I just want it to stop, I can’t turn off my mind. I want to stop thinking that I’ll turn a corner in the house and see him there. But I don’t want to stop thinking that I’ll see him again because then he’s really gone, it’s really real. He’s really not coming back…”

My words come out at such a rapid pace I feel like I could choke on them, a dam of emotions that I have no control over. Peeta sits there and listens to each one, occasionally rubbing his fingertips across the bruised skin of his face, but his  attention never wavers. 

When my voice finally comes to a stop I feel like I can breathe again. Not better exactly- but lighter. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’m glad I was here when you needed someone.” Peeta gives me a wry smile. “No one usually cares whether I’m around or not. Nobody needs me.”

I choke back a laugh. “You’re always surrounded by friends!”

“I’ve got friends at school but no one close, and my brothers don’t give a damn. Dad’s okay but...” Peeta pauses like he is trying to come up with the right way to phrase his next statement. I have the feeling that it is something that he spends a lot of time doing, thinking of ways to keep from incriminating someone.

“Your mom?” I blurt the words out. 

He looks down at his shoes, scuffing the toe of one of them in the dirt. “She’s hit me before, but never this bad. It’s just, she drinks and my dad usually keeps it away from her...” He takes a deep breath, “but he and my grandpa are out of town and my dumbass brothers went to a party. They just left me alone with her.”

“That’s awful.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” Peeta says. “I don’t know why she...” He hastily wipes the corner of his eye, and stands up.

The sun is just setting over the horizon, and we both stare at it in silence. I don’t know what to say to him, or how to make this better.

“I’d better let you go, Katniss. It’s getting late. And I still have to figure out what I’m going to do.” He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t really want to go back there tonight.”

“Why don’t you come home with me?” It surprises me, what comes out of my mouth.

I’m even more surprised to find that I mean it. “My sister isn’t there, and my mom never wakes up from her sleeping pills. No one would have to know.”

“Really? You don’t have to do that- I’ll just go back home. She’s probably passed out already.” He looks shocked at my suggestion, but there is also something in his eyes that I can’t name.

“I’m serious. I won’t be able to sleep if I know that you’re going back there tonight.” 

It’s true.

“You were there for me when I needed you, so let me be there for you. It’s what friends do.”

“Okay,” he finally answers, “if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure. It’s no problem, Peeta.” I pick up my bike and push it along slowly so that he can follow close beside me. We begin the walk back to my house together as the last rays of the sun disappear into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Find me on tumblr @butrfac14


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter wraps up the flashback from chapter two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing belongs to me, and thanks for reading!
> 
> Find me on tumblr @butrfac14

The walk to my house is mostly silent. I was feeling drained and I think that Peeta was as well.

It’s dark by the time we arrive at my house, passing the Hawthorne’s place on the way. I noticed the glare of their television reflected in the window, and it made me think of Prim.

When the two of us arrive at my back porch, I ask him, “Can you wait here for a minute? I’m going to run next door and check on my sister.”

“Yeah, sure. Take your time. I don’t have anywhere to go.” Peeta eases himself down onto the porch step. “ I don’t want to be a bother. If you’d rather go stay with your sister I understand.”

“No, she’s probably asleep already. I just need to check on her real quick.” I leave him and dart across the yard to my neighbors house.

After a soft rap Gale answers the door. “Hey, are you alright?” He asks, leaning his lanky frame against the doorway and folding his arms across his chest.

“I’m okay, I just wanted to check on Prim.”

“She’s asleep. Mom put her to bed with Posy and we haven’t heard a peep out of her.”

I breathe a sigh of relief.

As I turn to go back home Gale stops me. “Who’s that at your house?” He peers over my head into the backyard.

Crap. I hadn’t realized the house was so visible from here at night. “Nobody, just a friend.”

I don’t want to go into any more detail with him, because I’m not sure if Peeta would want me to. I felt reticent to talk about it myself- like if I said the words out loud the connection would be spoiled.

“If you say so,” As I leave I hear him say, “looks like that Mellark kid…” under his breath. But he let it go at that- because Gale really is a good guy.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I lead Peeta into the bathroom once we get inside my house. He sits on the toilet and I rummage through the medicine cabinet, finally coming up with antibiotic cream and bandages. I put those aside for now to help him clean up. We hold his hands under the warm water and scrub away the dirt and blood from his skin.

I then move on to his face, using a warm rag to clean the mess from there. It’s much like times that I’ve taken care of Prim, cleaning scrapes and bruises acquired from playing with the neighborhood kids. But in Prim’s case, those were accidents

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask Peeta, pausing for a moment to check a gash above his eyebrow, applying ointment there. As much as had changed between the two of us that night, I still couldn’t maintain eye contact with him while standing this close.

“No, not really.” Peeta paused for a moment. “You’re really good at this Katniss. Thank you for taking care of me.”

I start to make a comment about how it’s nothing, how anyone would do it, really, but one look at Peeta’s face and I freeze. He’s looking at me so intensely that I can’t make light of the moment. His eyes beg me not to discount his words.

“You’re welcome. I guess that I’ve been helping take care of Prim for so long that I’ve gotten the hang of it- she’s a bit of a klutz. I’m nothing special.” I laugh weakly, trying to lighten the mood a bit. His expression never waivers, but his mouth lifts at the corners with a faint smile.

“No, I don’t believe that for a minute.” Peeta looks down at his hands before continuing. “ I don’t really know why you care, you have enough problems of your own. You shouldn’t have to worry about me on top of , you know…”

“My dad?”

“Yeah.” He breathes out. I can tell that he is thinking too much, and I can’t have that. Tonight I can’t do it anymore.

So I tell him, “We’ll take care of each other.”

“Protect each other from the dark?” Peeta makes a joke, tries to laugh it off.

“Something like that. Okay?”  

“Yeah, okay.” 

We finish cleaning him up and I take him to my bedroom, since Prim and I each have a bed in the room that we share. I don’t know what my Mom would do if she found Peeta asleep on our couch.

It’s strange getting ready for bed that night, changing into sleep pants and a t-shirt in my bathroom. Brushing my teeth before re-entering the room. I wonder what we would say to each other now that we were two teenagers, alone, sharing my bedroom at night.

I needn’t have worried about it becoming awkward though. Peeta had already fallen asleep on top of my bed. He must have been completely exhausted.

“You didn’t even take off your shoes.” I whisper to him, and bend over to pull them off his feet myself. On the edge of falling under, he mumbles the words, “Stay, please.”

I drape a blanket over him, “I’m not going anywhere. Just to the other bed.” I fight the urge to smooth Peeta’s hair back, clenching my hand to stop the motion. That’s too much, I think.

“Just don’t leave me, Katniss.”

“I won’t. Good night Peeta.”

“Good night.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What must have be hours later, I feel myself being shaken awake. “Katniss. Wake up, please wake up...”

I open my eyes and look up at Peeta. He is perched beside the bed with his hand on my shoulder.  
“I’m sorry- what happened? Did I wake you up?” He releases me so that I can drag myself up into a sitting position, feeling groggy and disoriented. That dream had been awful, and I wanted to rouse myself as quickly as possible.

“You were yelling, and calling for your father.” He looks relieved to see me awake. I must have really freaked him out.

“I was dreaming about him.” I am so tired of the nighttime. I wish that there is a way to string the days on end so that I don’t have to face it anymore. I lay back down on my side. “Peeta, will you talk to me until I fall asleep? Tell me a story. Something happy? I don’t want to think about today.”

“Is it okay if I lay down too?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” It’s a full size bed, plenty of room for two kids. I scoot over to make room for him. Peeta lowers himself down onto his back gingerly and I stay on my side so that I can look at him while he talks.

Peeta tells me about spending time at the bakery with his grandfather, talks about the time the sr Mr. Mellark taught him how to roll out cookies. How his dad taught him the best technique for decorating cakes, relaying each in a step by step process.

“But that’s not really a story.” I tell him after a while, it’s not enough of a distraction.

“Sorry Miss Everdeen.”He teases me,“What kind of story do you want to hear?”

“Oh, I don’t know.”

Peeta pauses for a moment, losing some of the teasing tone from his voice. “Do you remember the first day of kindergarten?”

I laugh quietly, conscious of my mom sleeping in the other room. “No, you do? I can’t believe you’d remember that.”

“I remember it like it was yesterday. Do you remember how our parents stayed with us that first day, probably to make sure that we didn’t make a run for it?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Do you know what my Dad said to me that morning? He pointed you out to me, you and your father were there. He said to me- “Do you see that little girl over there?””

“Me?”

“No, Delly Cartwright. Of course I meant you, dummy.” He pauses and pokes his finger into my arm and I laugh. “Quit interrupting me.”

“Anyway my dad says to me, “Do you see that little girl over there? The one with the red plaid dress and the braids? I used to know her mother, we even dated in high school. But she broke things off with me for him.’”

I stop Peeta there. “Seriously? I never knew that.”

“Yeah, he was serious. Told me that once she met your father it was all over for the two of them.” He makes a rueful face and continues, “said that your father had an unbelievable voice, that everybody, everything, would just stop to listen to him. That your father just put her under a spell.”

Suddenly, I can piece the details back together and can see it in my mind’s eye.

“I stood up in front of the class that day, and sang. I remember it now. The day, the song. The Valley Song.

“Yeah, and all of the birds fell silent.” I give Peeta an incredulous look.

“You’re full of it, Mellark.”

“No, Everdeen. I’m really not.” Peeta reaches down between us and squeezes my hand. He doesn’t pull away from the gesture and I don’t stop him.

I find myself yawning after a moment, my eyes growing heavy. “Thanks for sharing that with me.”

I feel sleep pull me under.

“Welcome,” he answers me, sounding just as drowsy himself. I don’t catch the rest of what he says as I succumb to the oblivion of sleep.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It’s barely daylight when I wake up again, there’s just the faintest bit of sunshine peeking through the window. Peeta is standing at the foot of my bed, watching me. He looks awful, his eye is bruised from the day before, purple and black and swollen.

“Hey, I had better go. I don’t really want to have to see your mom on the way out.” 

“No, you’re right.” I stretch a little, sitting up and asking him- “Peeta, are you going to be okay? What are you going to do? Do you want to call somebody?”

“I’m sure Dad will figure out what happened when he gets back. I’ll be okay, Katniss. My brothers will be home by now, and Dad will be soon. I don’t know what will happen after that, but I have to go back sometime.”

“I really wish you didn’t have to leave yet.”

“Me neither.” He clears his throat as I get up from the bed, coming to stand beside him. “Katniss?”

I clasp his hand in mine. The gesture is a show of my feelings, my concern. A way to say “I won’t forget us”, ‘You deserve better than what has been done to you.’

“Can I,” he licks his lips nervously, falters for a minute. “I like you so much-can I kiss you?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

It’s a soft brush of lips, gentle and sweet. Peeta pulls back and smiles at me. “I had better go.”

“I know.”

We get Peeta out of my house, sneak him through without Mom hearing us. I squeeze his hand as he turns to go down the driveway.

“Bye. Thanks for taking care of me too.” I say.

Peeta gives me a crooked grin as he leaves. Before he even gets to the street, I find myself missing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definitely not going to be done in 4 chapters, once I released the writing beast she is relentless :).
> 
> Is that a weird statement? It feels a little weird.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katniss contemplates the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend evvykurler beta’d this chapter for me and she was invaluable, let me tell you. She gave me such great editing advice and kept the chapter’s flow moving. Not only that, she’s my cheerleader and helps to keep my squirrel brain in check!

1 a.m.

Nope, I’m still not asleep. I groan and sit up in bed, run my fingers through my hair. Tug it in frustration. It’s hopeless. 

Before Gale went home after fixing my roof that afternoon, he reminded me of the plans we’d made to meet up with Madge after work tomorrow. We were going out to officially celebrate her graduation from college, a bachelor's degree in music therapy under her belt. Madge had worked hard, and I was proud of her. I was looking forward to seeing her soon. 

If I’m being honest though, I was mostly just relieved that we weren’t going out tonight. My mind was spinning and I needed some time to process Peeta’s return. New information and old memories warred in my mind. And until I could place my finger on the way that I felt, I didn’t want to discuss it. The two of them wouldn’t have any of my attention and Gale would definitely know that something was up. 

The morning that Peeta left my house was the last time that I saw him. I didn’t go back to school for a few days after the funeral, and by the time I returned to class he wasn’t there. None of the Mellark boys had been in school, they were just gone.

I learned that the family had packed up and left that week. A move to the capitol to open the new Mellark’s Bakery had been in the works for awhile, a fact that apparently wasn’t made known to the boys. The elder Mr. Mellark relayed that the move had been planned for later in the year. His son had made the hasty decision to leave now. There had been a falling out between the two men and the rest of his family were now gone.

His explanation was confirmed for us when our hometown newspaper ran an article detailing the grand opening of the new Mellark’s Bakery in the capitol. 

I didn’t know what to think at that time. I wasn’t angry at Peeta, worried about him, yes. Because it was almost as if the Mellarks had fallen off the face of the earth. No one had heard a word from them, all contact was cut off. 

Sometimes that night that Peeta and I spent together seemed like a crazy dream. And in the daytime I questioned it, not the bare facts, but the connection. 

Had I imagined it? 

Read more into his looks, his touch, than what was there? 

Had we just let our emotions get the best of us?

Had he really needed me, wanted me with him that night? Or, had it just been a moment between two kids who were desperate for comfort?

But at night I still felt him. I would lay in the dark of my room and ache for him, at those times his memory was almost a visceral thing. I wished he was there to comfort me, to help me through the aftermath of my father’s death.

I make it sound like Peeta was at the front of my mind, but that wasn’t the case. Grief for my father still took the lion's share, caring for Prim due to my mother’s mental collapse. Anger over the new role thrust upon me and for the general unfairness of my life.

I wasn’t without any support, however. Haymitch stepped up to the plate when we needed him. He took care of the paperwork to begin my father's death benefits and life insurance policy, so that we could at least be financially stable. And during that time, my friendship with Gale began to grow. It started out as trading favors. He was 16 and driving, and would give me rides to the grocery store. I would watch his siblings and fix them dinner when both he and Hazelle had to work. Pooling resources, sharing what we could with each other.

And when I entered high school that fall, it was good to have an ally there. Following my father's death I became withdrawn and distant, with an off-putting persona that scared off most of my classmates. Until Madge and I connected over a shared dislike of being social, Gale was my only friend.

The years passed and life went on. My mother had finally come back to life, but she remained a shell of the woman that she once was. Our relationship was empty and distant. But we still managed to have a decent life, the three of us. Prim provided the lightness and joy in our home. 

My life was busy. Full of family, friends (I managed to make a few more here and there), work, school. I certainly didn’t spend my time thinking about Peeta.

But at night sometimes, I did still think about him. I wondered how he was, and where he was. I wondered if he was in someone else’s bed now. I wondered if we could have been more if he hadn’t left.

Because no one else had ever made a lasting impression on me since him, and that honestly scared the hell out of me. What was wrong with me? Would I spend the rest of my life comparing all men to him? 

By the time that I turned 20, I convinced myself that love just wasn’t in the cards for me. My infatuation with the memory of a teenage boy was proof of that. Look what love did to my mother. It wrecked her. I didn’t want that, so I just put the idea of it out of my mind.

Because I’m feeling like I might actually drive myself crazy if I don’t stop thinking about Peeta tonight, I reach across the nightstand and flip on my lamp. Laying in the dark with my thoughts isn’t getting me anywhere, and sleep is just as elusive as ever. Damn you nighttime.

Maybe I’ll read, I think to myself, reaching for the book that I didn’t get a chance to finish that afternoon. Prim wasn’t home tonight so I didn’t have to worry about her losing any sleep because of my restlessness.

Just a month ago my sister graduated from high school, and it feels like the time went by so fast. Prim is enrolled in nursing school and I’m thrilled for her. She wants to get her BSN and then go on to be a midwife. My sister knows exactly what she wants to do. Deliver babies, and welcome new life into the world. She is happy and balanced and well adjusted. We did a good job of raising her, my mom and I, with occasional help from both Haymitch and the Hawthorne family.

So I feel like my big role has come to an end. My sister is on the cusp of adulthood. And it kinda freaks me out because I don’t know what that means for me. 

And of course it coincides with the return of Peeta, like some big cosmic “Here you go Katniss, it’s your turn!” With a big welcome sign pointing straight to my heart. But who am I kidding? The chance of Peeta being what I remember is very slim. The chance of him being single is very slim. 

(But the fact that he’s coming back here with his father does make it seem like he’s probably not in a serious relationship, there was no talk of a girlfriend making the move with him) the traitorous voice in my head tells me. Shut up, me.

Most of all, it seems very unlikely that he still thinks of me at all. It was so long ago, and surely it couldn’t have affected him like it did me? That one night.

Eight years ago.

I toss the book down beside me and roll over, curling myself up like a cat. Lay there and think some more.

I finally come to the conclusion that the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. Terrifying as the idea is, I would soon have an answer of some sort. Because now I knew that I would see Peeta Mellark again. It’s a small town and our paths are bound to cross.

Eventually, I feel like I’m ready to sleep. Nothing has been resolved but I’m strangely okay with it. Like seeing Peeta again is inevitable, that it would have happened anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that we will see Peeta soon!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I have to thank evvykurler for her beta work- she makes me look a lot better at this!
> 
> I don’t own anything HG related

“I’m here!” I call out as I throw my purse into my employee locker, grabbing my apron before slamming the door shut. If I don’t shut it hard enough the door will pop back open. 

The condition of the locker is actually very fitting, the general ambiance of my place of employment is ‘neglected time warp.’ I’ve been a waitress at Sae’s for the last few years. And while it’s not the nicest restaurant in town, I do have a group of regulars that tip well. 

“Thanks for coming in on your day off, honey,” Sae tells me with a pat on the shoulder. She is a short, graying lady with scuffed orthopedic shoes and a tendency to call everyone by a pet name. 

I shrug my shoulders. “No problem, Sae. Camp doesn’t start up again until next month.” In the summer I spend 3 days a week as an archery instructor at youth camp. It’s a small place that is tucked away in the hillside of our neighboring town. The job doesn’t pay much, but it gives me a lot of enjoyment. “So I’m all yours until then.”

Sae wags her finger at me and says, “That is pathetic.” She hands me my pad and steers me out the kitchen door. “You’re too young to be working all the time. Have some fun while you’re young and cute. Let a man take you out and for Heaven’s sakes stop being so damn surly. Might get to go on some dates if you weren’t scowling all the time.” 

Sae is obviously not the most modern woman that you’ll ever meet.

And it’s this final statement that earns her a dubious eye roll. “Okay- whatever, Sae.” I scan the dining room, noting that a lot of the usual crowd is here. 

I’m about an hour into my shift when Mr. Boggs greets me with a smile and his wife nods hello. “Katniss, how are you today?” He and Mrs. Boggs are two of my favorite customers, she’s a retired school teacher and he was my high school principal. They’re nice people who don’t pry for details about my life.

“I’m okay,” I reply. Tired but fine. Sae had woken me up with a phone call at 5am, so I’m pretty sure that I got a total of 2 hours of sleep last night. But I’ll live. There should be time to go home and lay back down for awhile before I need to meet Gale and Madge for dinner tonight.

We discuss my sister’s college plans and Madge’s recent accomplishments for a moment while Mrs. Boggs decides on her order. As I’m taking their menus to return to the kitchen Mr. Boggs says, “Oh, there he is. Thresh made it.” 

I turn my head to see their nephew come through the door. “Hi Thresh.” I greet him.

Thresh returns the greeting with a slight smile.“Hey, Katniss.” We graduated from high school together four years ago. While we weren’t friends exactly, he always seemed like a nice guy. Kinda quiet like me, but more popular due to his prowess on the football field. 

Thresh slides into the booth and after taking his drink order, I let him know that I’ll give him a minute to decide what he wants to eat. I grab another order on my way back to the kitchen, allowing him some more time. 

As I return to the their table with two coffees and an iced tea, I catch the tail end of what Mr. Boggs is saying, “... the Mellarks?”

“Yeah, crazy, isn’t it? I can’t believe that we never heard anything about it. Then I ran into him at school that day...” Thresh trails off when he notices me. “Thanks.” He tells me while setting down the drink that I hand him, abruptly pausing whatever he was about to say and averting his gaze.

But Mr. Boggs (thank you Mr. Boggs) continues: “I just can’t believe that you ran into him! I never heard a word about those boys after they were pulled out of school.”

I’m all ears. They have to be talking about Peeta or one of his brothers. I try to discreetly listen to the three of them while I wait on my tables. Unfortunately that proves to be difficult because business picks up at that point. I don’t catch a whole lot more of their conversation, just bits and pieces here and there. Enough to confirm that, yes, they are talking about the Mellarks. And before they leave I do manage to overhear Thresh tell his aunt and uncle that Peeta is going to be in town by Sunday, that the two of them have discussed meeting up soon.

My heart is doing this weird thing where it seems ready to leap from my chest at any minute. This is probably due to a lack of sleep, too much coffee and a healthy dose of anxiety. 

That’s what I tell myself anyway.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Sae, I’m headed out!” It’s hours later and my shift is over. I’m sweaty and have that distinct diner smell soaked into my pores- a combination of grease and salad dressing. I feel gross. And because of the lack of sleep the night before and a busy day at the restaurant, I’m exhausted. A hot shower and my bed are calling my name.

Sae looks up at me from behind her desk in the tiny office that is her domain. Her walls are covered in family photos, some old and some new. Her deceased husband is featured heavily, as are her six grandchildren. Sae’s desk is clean save for her telephone, accounting ledger, and adding machine. The room is really the embodiment of the woman herself. Old fashioned but efficient.

Sae gives me a little wave of her hand in acknowledgment and I make my way out. It’s a typical hot summer day and the sun blinds a little as I make my way to my car, which is parked down the street in an employee lot. The walk gives me time to contemplate.

Sae’s Place is located in downtown Panem, on our main thoroughfare. The street is lined with an assortment of businesses, some more reputable than others. There is a cash advance place across the street and a few bank branches, insurance offices, and a shoe store that specializes in diabetic footwear. On this side of the street is Sae’s, and a formal wear shop. Also a juice bar/yoga studio, next door to that on the corner is Mellark’s Bakery.

I pause in front of the bakery and peer in the window, something that I haven’t really done in years. Not since I was a young girl, and I find myself remembering a visit to Mellark’s. Our family on a day out, Prim running up to see the display, me following behind at a distance, and our parents bringing up the rear. Dad promising to buy us each a cookie if we listened to Mom, who was telling Prim to keep her hands off of the glass. I remember the smell inside the shop. Yeast and spice, sugar and butter. The senior Mr. Mellark chatting with my parents as he handed Prim and I both a cookie. 

I actually find myself contemplating going inside the bakery, trying to hold on to that feeling a bit longer. But that would be ridiculous. Instead I hurry around the corner to my car.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It’s early evening when Madge pulls up to the curb in her new Audi, a graduation gift from her father. Prim had needed a vehicle tonight and Mom had to work, so Madge had assured me that she could pick me up for our night out. Gale was meeting up with us later, apparently. 

After taking a long nap that afternoon I was feeling better, ready to have some fun with my friends. I hadn’t spent much time with Madge lately and I missed her.

“Your car is beautiful Madge!” I say, climbing inside and running my hands over the smooth leather seats. They are white and soft, the perfect complement to Madge’s blond hair and light complexion. She reminds me of an old Hollywood bombshell behind the wheel of it.

“Thanks.” Madge raises her eyebrow and grins at me. “I still can’t believe Dad bought me this.” 

“And Gale is jealous as hell?” I ask her.

“Well, yeah. Of course.” We share a laugh at Gale’s expense- poor guy. I don’t feel bad for him, really, I’m sure that Madge lets him drive the car whenever they go out. 

I lean back in my seat and relax. “Where are we going anyway?” 

“Just to the Mexican restaurant.” 

“Sounds good.” Another thing that Madge and I share is a love of good food. Not that I can cook worth a damn. But hey, no one is good at everything.

“You look great by the way.” Madge tells me, sweeping her hand up and down in my direction. 

Prim had talked me into wearing a green halter-neck sundress that evening. We paired it with her gold sandals, and she even curled my hair. Definitely a change from my usual shorts, t-shirt, and braid look that I usually wear. It is nice to feel pretty for a change.

We arrive at La Cabanita a few minutes later. They aren’t too busy yet and we manage to snag a table on the patio, it’s a highly coveted spot in the summer months. The outdoor space is surrounded by a low fence and there are lights strung up on posts around the perimeter. If you squint really hard after a margarita or two, you can almost imagine that you’re somewhere else.

After we hear from Gale, assuring us that Vick can drop him off at the restaurant and that he can take us home later- that’s what the two of us proceed to do. Madge gets a frozen raspberry. I like the tangy drink original and on the rocks.

“This is the life.” Madge sighs after her first sip. “I’m so glad to be done with school. Now I just need to cram for my license.” She sets the cocktail down and grabs her menu. “But I don’t want to talk about that right now. What sounds good?”

We decide on some queso and chips while we wait on Gale. And by the time he joins us, we’ve each drained our drinks. I’m stirring the ice around the bottom of my glass, feeling the effects of the tequila. Tranquil and happy.

So I order another with my dinner. And then one more because really- why the hell not? I’m not driving. I don’t have to work tomorrow and I’m having a good time. This last thought brings to mind the conversation that I had with my boss today.

“Sae told me that I need to quit being so surly, said that “maybe I’d get some dates”.” I tell them, making air quotes with my fingers. Madge laughs at this while Gale almost spits out his Coke.

“I didn’t know that you were looking for dates.” Madge teases me.

“No, I’m not really. Have you seriously ever met any decent guys around here? Present company excluded.” I tip my drink towards Gale and a little bit sloshes out of the glass. Well, shit. I wanted that.

“No offense taken.” Gale says and grins at me. “And I know guys that don’t mind your attitude. Thom and Cato from my drafting class asked me about you after we saw them at the Hob that one night.” He pauses before continuing. “And you were definitely giving off a “leave me the hell alone,” vibe that night.”

I can’t really remember Thom, but Cato? “Cato ‘dudebro’ Haskins? Katniss and I graduated with that idiot. I’m going to say pass on that one,” Madge supplies, scraping her finger through the queso bowl to get the last remnants of cheese. 

“You know who I always thought had a thing for you, Katniss?” She continues, after sucking the cheese off of her pointer finger: “I know that it’s been forever ago, but Peeta Mellark used to stare at you in school all the time. It’s funny, I haven’t thought of him in years. Must be ‘cause he’s coming back to Panem.” 

Oh no, not this line of conversation.

“He wasn’t the only one doing the staring, Madge.” Gale props his chin up with his hand and smiles at me like the cat that swallowed the canary. “Was he, Catnip?” Bastard.

“He was nice.” I find myself saying. Then I let the word vomit loose: “He kissed me once. I’ve never told anyone that. The day before they up and left? He kissed me and then I never heard from him again.” I fiddle with my drink and mentally berate myself for revealing that to the two of them. This is why I should stay away from alcohol, I think to myself.

And I feel embarrassed, like I’ve revealed some dark secret. It’s a painful feeling, and I’m waiting for the two of them to tease me. But I underestimated my friends.

“I’m sorry, that sucks.” Madge reaches over and squeezes my hand. “You seem upset about it.”

“It’s the not knowing, you know? I just feel like I’ve spent too much time thinking about him, and it makes me feel like an idiot. We were what? Fourteen? Why can’t I just forget about it?” And then I add more, because now I’m on a roll, “There’s so much going on right now. You just graduated from college and you’re ready to start a career. Prim is leaving for college. Gale is, well… you’re still the same I guess.”

He raises an eyebrow at me. “Thanks, really. I’ve never felt more appreciated.”

Madge laughs at him, but then she addresses me and squeezes my hand. “Katniss, you’ve always had a hard time letting go of people. I think that’s why you don’t have a ton of friends, to be honest. You’re loyal, and that makes you kinda picky about who you let get close.” 

“Don’t worry Catnip, you’ll find your place.” 

“Gale, I swear that if you call me Catnip one more time…” I shake my fist at him in mock anger. It gives me an opening to change the subject, but Madge beats me to the punch.

“You know what I want to do?” She says brightly. “Let’s stay out, I think we should go watch people do shitty karaoke, have some more to drink, and say “screw you men”. Present company excluded, of course.”

“You can screw me anytime baby.” Gale winks at her lasciviously. Madge winks back.

“You two are grossing me out, so knock it off.” I tell them. “But that sounds good- yeah, let’s get out of here.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Whatcha drinking?” The bartender hollers to me over the sounds of a woman belting out ‘Redneck Woman’ at the top of her lungs. It is not pleasant.

We ended up at the Hob, a bar on the outskirts of town that is mostly frequented by a younger crowd. But you also have your assortment of yokels who show up on karaoke night, some of whom look like they’ve spent way too many years hanging out in bar rooms.

”Blue Moon please, two of those. And a water.” I pay the man and head back to our table. It’s actually pretty crowded in here tonight, and the three of us were fortunate to find a seat.

Despite the questionable song choices that we are being subjected to, I’m having a good time. Another drink in, and Madge convinces me that I need to “get up there and show them how it’s done.” So I grab one of the karaoke books and rifle through it. 

“What song do you think I should do?” I ask Madge.

“I don’t know, but make it something baaad ass!” She tells me, popping her fist in the air like she’s at a rock concert. Gale and I share a smirk

“Yeah, I can do badass.” I tell Madge as I make my song selection. 

It’s not too much longer before the d.j. is calling out my name and song choice. I make my way to the small stage at the back of the bar where the karaoke equipment is set up. Gale whistles loudly and Madge actually hoots.

As the first notes of the song begin to play, I take a moment to scan the room, noticing that the front door is being pushed open to let more people into the bar. It surprises me to see Thresh walking into the dimly lit room.

That’s so weird to see him this soon after what happened at the diner today, I think. 

I’m about to begin singing but find that I’m frozen in place. My heart races. I’m unable to make a sound.

Because right there, just inside the doorway, stands Peeta Mellark. He’s taller and more broad-shouldered than I remember, wearing jeans and a gray t-shirt, the material strains across his biceps. There's a baseball cap on his head so that only the edges of his blond waves are visible, and it seems like he’s wearing his hair a little longer now. He just looks so different. But his eyes- they haven’t changed a bit.

And what’s most unsettling? 

He has those familiar blue eyes locked right on me .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. Got a question for you all- what do you think is a good song choice for Katniss to start singing? I have a few ideas but you guys are a creative bunch- throw your ideas my way!
> 
> Thanks!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta evvykurler for being there for me! You are the best, lady.
> 
> Thank you to my readers who made some great song suggestions. You’ll see a few of them in the chapter below! (and 1 stored away for later)
> 
> Thank you all for reading my story and for your support. It means the world to me. Seriously you guys are the best.

 

I’m panicking.  What is he doing here?  He’s not supposed to be here yet.

 

Why did I agree to get up in front of this crowd?  

 

Oh, right.  Tequila. The old liquid courage and its faithful companion, a dulled sense of self-preservation.  

 

But right now my song is just beginning, so I lean into the microphone and take a deep breath.  Here goes nothing. I’ll just stand here and, you know, pour out my feelings in front of all these people.  All. These. Damn. People.

 

Including the guy who inspired this song choice.

 

_ Ever wonder about what he's doing? _ __  
_ How it all turned to lies? _ _  
_ __ Sometimes I think that it's better 

_ to never ask why _

 

I’m dying.  Peeta is just there staring at me and I can’t take it, my nerves are raw. I close my eyes and belt out the chorus. 

 

_ Where there is desire _ __  
_ There is gonna be a flame _ __  
_ Where there is a flame _ __  
_ Someone's bound to get burned _ __  
_ But just because it burns _ _  
_ __ Doesn't mean you're gonna die

 

Madge is on her feet, swaying back and forth to the song.  Gale is leaning back in his chair, eyes on me. Neither of them have turned around to look at the back of the bar.  They are completely oblivious to my distress.

__  
_ Funny how the heart can be deceiving _ __  
_ More than just a couple times _ __  
_ Why do we fall in love so easy? _ _  
_ __ Even when it's not right

 

I glance at Peeta again, and while he hasn’t budged there’s a beer in his hand.  Thresh must have picked it up for him at the bar because they both have one. Thresh’s lips are moving, and he gestures in my direction.  Peeta nods in response to whatever his friend is saying. He takes a drink from the bottle in his hand but doesn’t look away from me once.

__  
_ Ever worry that it might be ruined _ __  
_ And does it make you wanna cry? _ __  
_ When you're out there doing what you're doing _ __  
_ Are you just getting by? _ __  
__  
I am completely mesmerized by him.  

I feel like I’m drowning in his eyes.

 

_ You gotta get up and try, and try, and try _ __  
_ Gotta get up and try, and try, and try _ __  
  


Finally the song is done, and now that the adrenaline rush is over I’m a shaky mess.  I can’t breathe and my chest feels like it’s being held in a vise. But I attempt to look casual as I stumble off the stage, vaguely processing the sound of applause.  Keeping my head down I rush past our table. I have to get out of here.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Sinking to the floor of the bathroom stall, I put my head in my hands and groan.  “Katniss?” After a moment I hear the bathroom door open and Madge appears. “Can I come in?”

 

“Mmmph,” is all that I can manage right now.  My friend is a bit wobbly as she sinks to the floor beside me.

 

“Katniss?”

 

“Yeah?” I look up at her face.

 

“Two things, actually.”  She pauses, considering for a minute before continuing.  “Number one, this is really gross. You know how much I hate public restrooms.” 

 

“I know you do, Madge.” Laughing a little shakily, I lean my head back against the wall and pray that the room doesn’t start to spin.  Why did I drink so much?

 

“Number two is that I love you.”

 

I close my eyes at this.  “So what you’re saying is, you came all the way back here to tell me you love me and the floor is gross.  Well thank you, Madge.” 

 

“No, that’s not it at all…” Madge pauses and screws up her face like she’s willing herself to focus. 

 

“Did you see him?”  I ask her.

 

“Yeah, I did.”  Madge pauses. “He’s hot as hell now, isn’t he?”

 

At that I burst into laughter.  “Madge! Yes. Yeah, he definitely is.” 

 

“All I can say is--wow.  Time has been good to him.”  Madge pauses there, “but don’t tell Gale I said that.” 

 

We both crack up.

 

Wiping tears from my eyes, I tell her, “Madge, I can’t leave this bathroom. I can’t talk to him now!  Peeta was just, he was staring at me the whole time I was up there...” I trail off, panic gripping me again. “What the hell am I going to say to him?”

 

Madge shrugs her shoulders and shifts on the floor, trying to get more comfortable.  “You’re just panicking. Why would he stare if he wasn’t into you?”

 

“I just don’t know if I can handle this tonight.”  I sigh and lean my head on her shoulder. “I kinda wish that I hadn’t drank so much.”

 

“I know”.  We sit there for a moment until Madge pats my leg and attempts to stand up. “But Katniss, you got this.”

 

“You think so?”

 

“I really do,” she tells me reassuringly. “He’s obviously interested. Just don’t overthink it, and see where it goes.”  Madge finally makes it to her feet. “But either way, we have to go now. I signed us both up to sing, and it’s almost time.”

 

“Are you kidding me Madge?” I practically shout at her. 

 

Seriously, I’m going to kill her.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Madge and I are weaving our way back to our table when I hear my name called.  She squeezes my hand reassuringly and mouths ‘you got this’ to me. 

 

“I’m going back to Gale,” she says loudly and walks away.  Real smooth, Madge.

 

“Katniss?”

 

I turn around and he’s right there.  And I have to say that observing Peeta from across a dark room did not do him justice.  He’s absolutely gorgeous-like a broad shouldered, blond fantasy come to life. I feel my face flush, and it’s not from the alcohol.

 

“Hi,” I say to him, barely getting that much out.  Hi? I’ve spent 8 years thinking about this guy and that’s the best that I can come up with? I’m an idiot.

 

Peeta laughs and pulls his hat off, running a hand through those blond waves.  “I wasn’t sure if you’d know who I was,” he says after putting the hat back on and sticking his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

 

I snort at that.  “You’re kidding, right?  I mean, you’re all well...you know, but it’s still you, Peeta.” I reinforce my words by waving my hand in his direction.

 

He looks kinda confused, but he’s still smiling at least.

 

Sighing, I continue.  “I’m sorry, Peeta. I’ve had a lot to drink tonight.  Well, frankly, I think I’m drunk.” Why am I telling him all of this?  ”And here you just show up out of the blue, and you think that I don’t remember you?  How do you think that I could forget you?”

 

“Well, I was  _ hoping _ that you would remember me.”   Peeta is grinning as he tells me this, ducking his head for a minute before looking back up at me.  I have a mental flash of him as that school boy- he would do that very same thing whenever I caught his eye.  His voice softens a bit and he says, “Katniss, I know that I could never forget you.”

 

I’m trying to think of something to say in response when the d.j. announces- “Next in the line up we have...Madge and Katniss!”

 

“So I guess that you gotta go.”  Peeta says, looking disappointed.

 

“Yeah.  But, do you and Thresh want to sit  with us?” I pause and try to judge what his response will be.  “It’s just me, Madge, and Gale. They won’t mind.”

 

“Yes, I’d love to. Just let me grab Thresh and I’ll meet you over there.  Okay?” He answers me quickly, like he can’t get the words out fast enough.

 

“Sounds great.”  I’m just standing there smiling at him like an idiot, and neither one of us is making a move to leave.

 

Finally, it’s Peeta who breaks the gaze with a breathless laugh. “You’d better go,  your fans await. I don’t want to be the one to deprive them.” He bends toward my ear conspiratorially, continuing in a quiet voice.  “Tell you the truth, I can’t wait to hear you sing again, either.”

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

“So what are we doing?”  I’m back on the bar room stage, but this time, I have Madge at my side and I am feeling much better than the last time that I was up here.  Out of the corner of my eye I notice Thresh and Peeta sliding into the extra chairs at our table, each of them with a drink in hand.

 

“Oh, just one of the classics.”  Madge says. I look down to see the title  _ Somebody to Love  _ roll across the monitor screen. 

 

During our sophomore year of high school, Madge and I started nosing our way through her mother’s record collection.  Queen’s  _ Greatest Hits  _ was one of the albums that got a lot of playtime on the Undersee’s old hifi stereo.  

 

Madge brings us in, “ _ Can anybody find me somebody to love?” _

 

Then I follow up with, “ _ Ooh, each morning I get up I die a little _ _  
_ _ Can barely stand on my feet” _

 

We’re singing to each other, and the smile on my face is so broad that my cheeks hurt.  The two of us are bouncing lyrics off each other- Madge as the echo and I take the lead.

 

_ (Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry (and cry) _ __  
_ Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody) _ __  
_ Can anybody find me somebody to love? _ __  
_ I work hard (she works hard) every day of my life _ __  
_ I work 'til I ache in my bones _ __  
_ At the end (at the end of the day) _ __  
_ I take home my hard earned pay all on my own _ __  
_ Lord, somebody (somebody), ooh somebody _ __  
_ (Please) can anybody find me somebody to love? _ _  
_ __ Everyday (everyday) I try and I try and I try

 

The boys are grinning from ear to ear at  our table, and Gale has pulled out a lighter that he’s waving back and forth,  until a member of the staff taps him on the shoulder and shakes his head. The word ‘no’ that leaves his lips is discernible from up here.  

 

_ Find me, find me, find me somebody to love (find me somebody to love) _ __  
_ Anybody, anywhere, anybody find me somebody to love love love! _ __  
_ Somebody find me, find me love _ __  
  


Madge and I exit the stage to the sound of rowdy applause, and she even stops to take a bow.  

 

“I can’t believe that you two are the same girls I went to school with!”  Thresh fist bumps Madge and I as we take our seats. “Where were you hiding all of that, anyway?”

 

“You were great, Katniss.”  Peeta says to me, turning in my direction.  He stares at me as I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, his eyes following the motion like he couldn’t tear himself away if he tried.  I know the feeling because I keep glancing at him and looking away. 

 

“Ahem.”

 

“Huh?”  He turns to the rest of our friends and Madge is pointedly looking at him.  “Oh, I’m sorry. You were great too, Madge.” At this the others burst out laughing. 

 

“Do you two want to be left alone?” Gale gestures between Peeta and I. “Cause I think the rest of us feel like fifth wheels.”

 

“Fifth wheels?” Madge questions his word choice.

 

“Well, yeah because there are five of us.” He points to each person at the table and I groan. 

 

“Shut up, Gale.” I tell him, taking a drink of the water that someone grabbed for me.  “You’re like the king of the dad jokes already.”

 

“No, really.  That’s okay.” Peeta looks at me hopefully. “Maybe I can get Katniss to agree to see me another time.  If she wants to see me I mean, if she wants to, no pressure.” He stumbles over the words and it’s so endearing.  

 

“Oh, she wants to.” I glare daggers at Gale for that comment.

 

“Actually I do.”  I say this quietly to Peeta, wanting to put him at ease. “Pulling my phone out of my purse I ask him- “do you want to give me your number? I’ll give you mine and we can talk later.”  He recites the numbers to me and I put them into my phone under a contact name that I never thought I would have there. Peeta. 

 

I shoot him a quick text-  _ It’s Katniss.   _ The buzz from his phone that’s lying on our  table tells me that he got my message. “Now you have mine, too.”  I tell him. 

 

It feels like a step in the right direction.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

“So, this has been fun.”  Peeta and I are alone together outside of  _ The Hob _ , leaning against the side of the building and watching people come and go. Some of them are out for cigarette breaks, others are leaving for the night while a stream of new people arrive and take their places.  

 

Madge and Gale are waiting for me in her car, and Thresh ran into his cousin on the way out.  I’m sure that he’ll be coming through the door in a minute or two as well, because the night is winding down and it’s almost time to go.

 

It had been a fun evening.  I couldn’t believe how natural it felt to be with Peeta again, like no time had passed at all.  We all ended up staying there for a few more hours. Peeta and Thresh played a few rounds of pool with Gale, while Madge and I danced to Meghan Trainor's  _ No _ with a bachelorette party that had arrived soon after us. 

 

After that we sat back down at our table and talked.  Thresh told us how he and Peeta had run into each other at a sandwich shop in the capital.  “It was so crazy. I turned around and there’s Peeta just grinning at me.” He takes a drink before he continues, “I thought you’d fallen off the face of the earth, man.”

 

Peeta laughed. “Anyway, we started hanging out together after that.”

 

“We didn’t get to hang out too often.”

 

Peeta nodded in agreement.  “No, you’re right. Keeping the capital  _ Mellark’s  _ going until we found a buyer was crazy. I think that I was working about 50 hours a week on top of my classes.”  He paused a moment and shook his head. “I’m glad that's over.”

 

“Didn’t you like it there?”  I asked him.

 

Peeta looked at me then.  “The only thing that I really liked about the capital was the bakery.” He pauses to fiddle with the label on his bottle.  “But even that lost its appeal toward the end.”

 

It was obvious that Peeta was growing uncomfortable with talking about himself, so Madge quickly changed the subject.  

 

She asked Thresh a question about Capital U, effectively switching the conversation to a safer topic.  We discussed the differences between taking classes locally, like Gale and I, versus the full college experience.  Peeta looked relieved, like disaster had been averted.

 

And I was left with so many questions for him, but now wasn’t the right time.  Those questions could wait.

 

I find myself nodding at the statement that he made to me.  “Yeah, it’s been really fun.” 

 

Peeta looks over at me and says, “I really hope to hear from you soon Katniss.”  He’s got this intense look in his eyes but there’s underlying anxiety as well.

 

“How about if I let you know when I get home tonight?”  I tell him. Peeta’s so oblivious to the effect that he has on me it’s ridiculous.  And how do you explain a feeling that’s part anticipation and excitement, but also a sense of peace? It just inherently feels  _ right. _

 

_ “ _ Oh, that would be great.”  He breathes out. 

 

“Well, I guess that I had better go then.  They’re waiting on me.” I jerk my thumb towards the parking lot where my ride is waiting. And it’s a funny thing because I notice that Thresh is exiting the bar out of the corner of my eye.  It’s definitely time to go now.

 

But Peeta and I are doing that gazing at each other thing again.  This time, however, I’m the one who breaks first.

 

“So I’ll let you know when I get home, okay?”

 

“Thanks, Katniss.  I’ll talk to you soon.”  He gives me that same little wave again as he follows Thresh and just like before, I do miss him already.  

 

But the difference is that this time, I’m not afraid.  

 

I look down at the phone in my hand and smile.  We’re going to have a lot of catching up to do.

 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Try is performed by Pink
> 
> Somebody to Love is performed by Queen
> 
> Did everyone enjoy getting to see Peeta again? More to come! ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you evvykurler for your superb beta work/editing skills. She gave me some good text etiquette advice. :)
> 
> I own nothing HG related.
> 
> Thanks to everyone for reading!

I stand on the porch and wave to Madge as Gale backs her car out of the driveway.  As soon as the car disappears around the corner, I let myself inside the house.

Honestly, I had prepared myself for an interrogation from the two of them that night after leaving Peeta at the bar _._ Strangely enough, neither of them said a word to me about it. I think that Madge probably had something to do with that. And if I know her, she’s just biding her time.

I throw my purse onto the kitchen counter and grab a glass of water. Even at room temperature, it feels good going down my throat. It had gotten progressively warmer inside the bar as the night wore on. Wisps of hair still cling to my forehead, and I am pretty sure that my eye makeup is in full-blown raccoon mode.  

Realizing that no one else is home right now, I take my glass of water and phone into the living room and turn on the lamp. I sit down on the couch and stare at the device expectantly, like it’s going to tell me what to do.

Because now that I’m home I feel apprehensive about contacting Peeta. I just don’t really know what to say to him.

_Start simple,_ I tell myself. So I type a quick message,

**K: I made it home**

and hit “send” before I can overthink it.

When my phone vibrates about fifteen seconds later I laugh out loud. He must have been waiting with his phone in hand to answer me that quickly.

**P: It was so good to see you tonight, Katniss.**

The first text is followed by another.

**P: Am I weirding you out?  I feel like I might have been too forward at the Hob. I just can’t believe that I ran into you like that.**

**K: No, you’re good. I was glad to see you too.**

**K: :)**

**P: I didn’t mention it to you but I’m not** **_here_ ** **yet, in Panem. I came down today because Grandpa needed someone to drive him to an appointment at his oncologists office. I’m not sure if you knew about his cancer diagnosis?**

**K: I did hear a rumor about that. I hope that he’s doing okay? He’s a nice man.**

So Gale was right about that one

**P: He’s not doing too bad, considering. Chemo wears him out but he’s hanging in there.**

There’s a pause in the conversation, but then Peeta says,

**P: I really want to see you again but I don’t know when I can exactly. I feel like a jerk saying that.**

The Peeta that I knew wasn’t even a jerk on his worst day. I tell him,

**K: No, I get it.**

**P: I don’t even know if you’re seeing anyone right now…**

I smile at his blatant attempt to fish for information. _He should know better than that,_ I think.  

But no, he doesn’t know me now. How could he?

**K: I’m not seeing anyone.**

**K: Just talking to you.**

**K: Same?**

I have to be sure. Not that I’m expecting him to declare his undying love for me next week or anything. It’s just that whatever this thing between us is, it doesn’t feel like something that’s just casual.  

I’m not a casual girl.

**P: Same.**

I breathe out a sigh of relief.

**P: I better let you go for now though, I have to be up early tomorrow**

**P: Can I call you tomorrow night if you’re not busy?**

**K: I’d like that.**

**K: I’ll probably just be at home tomorrow night, I don’t have plans.**

I almost tell him that I don’t usually go out, that I’m more of a homebody than a party girl. But I figure that can wait. A little mystery can be a good thing. And then I find myself fighting a gigantic yawn so I tell him,

**K: I can barely keep my eyes open!**

**P: I won’t keep you up any longer, I don’t know how good of a sleep texter you are… ;)**

**P: Good night Katniss**

**K: Good night Peeta**

I set the phone down and stretch out on the couch, yawning again as I lay back. It feels like any tension that remained has left my body, and I am suddenly so tired. I close my eyes and tell myself that I’m just going to lay here for a minute.  

 

++++++++++++++++++++

 

“Hey sleeping beauty!” I crack open one eye to see Prim kneeling beside me on the living room floor.  

“Prim.” It’s all that I can manage to get out.  My mouth tastes like garbage and my head is throbbing, so I roll over and cover my face with a pillow.  

“What happened last night, Katniss?” She’s laughing at me, the hag.  

Prim gets up off of the floor and sits down beside me on the couch, patting the back of my leg. She of course looks fresh as a daisy, while I’m sure that I now resemble the Bride of Frankenstein. Laying on a couch all night with sweaty hair and old makeup will do that to a girl.

“Would you mind getting me some aspirin and water, please?” I manage to croak out as I unbury my head.

Prim returns with the aforementioned items, coaxing me to sit up and take them from her. I swallow the tablets and drain the glass of water, before giving her an abbreviated version of our night out.  

I don’t mention anything to my sister about Peeta yet. This is largely due to the fact that I’m currently hungover, and I don’t want to hear Prim squeal at the top of her lungs right now.  My sister and Sae have a lot in common when it comes to my up until now nonexistent love life.

I decide that I’ll fill her in on Peeta later.  There isn’t much to tell and I kind of like keeping it to myself for now.

“No wonder you look so rough.” She nudges me gently. “What got into you guys?”

It’s a fair question.

“It was all Madge’s idea...” I trail off, shrugging my shoulders. It’s true, even if I was a very willing participant. Madge didn’t exactly have to twist my arm for any of last night's events.

“Well, why don’t you go get cleaned up and I’ll fix you something to eat. Maybe some breakfast will help?”

I do feel better sitting down with a bowl of oatmeal and some coffee after I’ve showered and brushed my teeth. The edge is gone off of my headache, and now it feels manageable- nothing that a day of laying around won’t fix.

Much better.  

Prim is sitting across the table from me finishing her own breakfast, nose in a magazine.

“What time do you think you’ll get home tonight?” I ask her as she gets up from the table, setting her dishes in the sink. Prim is working for an ob/gyn office for the summer, filling in for their receptionist who’s out on maternity leave.

“I won’t be home until after 8. It’s the doctor’s late day, and it’s my turn to close up.”  Prim grabs her bag as she heads out the door, “So don’t worry about dinner tonight. Mom’s working again so it’ll just be you.”

After Prim leaves I head to our bedroom to grab my book that I never did get around to finishing. I pick up my phone and then, noticing that it’s dead, I take the charger with me as well. I’ll just hang out back here for awhile- I think that the couch and I have had our fill of each other.

I’ve settled in with my book and the phone is charging away when I hear the tell-tale buzz of an incoming text.  

Madge. I should have expected this, really.

**M: Well?**

**K: Well what?**

I’m not giving into her that easily.

**M: You know what!**

**K: Okay :). We texted each other a little bit once I got home. He’s supposed to call me tonight. Sorry there isn’t more to report.**

**M: You had better let me know when there is...**

**K: I will, don’t sweat it.**

The phone is silent for a minute and I figure that Madge and I are done, so I lay back down with my book. I’m really only half-concentrating, but there’s one chapter left and I’m almost there.  

My phone buzzes again. _What now, Madge?_ I wonder, flipping the phone over.

Oh, wait.

It’s Peeta.

**P: Sorry if you’re busy. I just wanted to ask you something?**

**K: No, I’m not busy- I’m glad to hear from you, I didn’t think that I would until later. What did you want to ask me?**

**P:  It’s a hypothetical question…**

I laugh at his stalling.

**K: Okay, hypothetical questions work too… So, go ahead…**

**P: Well, you had mentioned that you would probably be home later. If a guy happened to be back in Panem tonight and came by your house is there a good chance that you would want to see this hypothetical guy? Maybe go out with this guy?**

**P: P.S. I’m the guy.**

Tonight? He wants to see me tonight. My higher reasoning ability slows to a crawl, and then stops altogether. I think that I’m in shock, honestly. My mouth is slack, face numb.

Apparently though, my fingers still work.

**K: Yes.**

**K: I’d love to.**

**K: What time?**

**P: I work until 3, so by the time I clean up and get there maybe 6? I know that’s kind of early but I have to work again in the morning.**

**K: No, that’s okay. I have to be at** **_Sae’s_ ** **early tomorrow morning too so 6 is good for me.**

**P: Maybe we can get the early bird special tonight.  ;)**

I laugh into the empty room at that.

**P: Joking. No, I have something else planned if that’s okay.**

**K: Yes, something else is good. I expect better than dinner at Sae’s from you, Mellark.**

**P: Well, I’ve been waiting years for this chance. So I’ve had time to think about it.**

Years?  My chest tightens with the possibilities of what that could mean.

**K: What happened to just calling me tonight?**

**P: Honestly? You’re all that I can think about, I’m completely worthless around  here today.**

I’ll try not to over-examine that comment.

**P: And I’m kind of afraid of letting you slip through my fingers again.**

**P: Besides, my car gets good gas mileage. ;)**

What a dork.

**P: Are you guys still in the same house?**

**K: Yes, not much has really changed around here.**

**P: So I’ll see you tonight at 6?**

**K: Looking forward to it.  :)**

**P: I’ll see you at 6, bye Katniss.**

**K: Bye.**

I set the phone down and roll over on my side. Try to resume reading my book. I turn the thing over and give the cover a good stare. Every time I try to finish this damn thing a new cosmic event in my life happens. _Well, that’s enough for one day,_ I think. The book gets tossed onto the floor.  

Well, so much for pretending that I’m not freaked out.  

I’m going to see him again tonight? And by _see_ him I mean it’s just going to be the two of us. Alone.  

No Madge to buffer.  

No Gale to tell bad jokes.  

My heart is racing and my stomach feels like it’s squished itself up into a ball underneath my rib cage. I’m pretty sure that it’s trying to escape, because even my internal organs know that I’m being ridiculous and want to get the heck out of here.

_It’s just Peeta._

_What are you so afraid of?_

That’s a good question.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++

 

I glance over at the clock on the living room mantle, even though it’s only been about fifteen seconds since I checked it the last time.

5:50.  

I have ten minutes.

Stalking into the bathroom, I give myself a final once over. Check my teeth for good measure. Run my fingers through my hair to check for snags.  

Sliding my palms down my thighs, I tug the hem of the linen shorts a little further down. Madge had insisted that I wear them.  

After my minor freak out this morning I gave her a call to let her know about tonight. Her immediate response was, “I’m coming to help you.”

I had laughed at her. “It’s 10am. Do I need eight hours to get ready?”

“Good point.” She pauses and I hear rustling around in the background. “I’m looking for date clothing options, if you’re wondering.”

“I think he’s going to be disappointed when he finds out that I don’t usually dress up this much.” I’ve never really put much thought into my looks in the past because it never seemed that important to me.  

Now I’m nervous and wishing that I’d paid more attention to this kind of stuff. I stretch my feet out on my bed and wiggle my toes, examining them closely. At least they look decent, freshly polished the night before in a summery burnt orange.

“No, don’t be dumb. You’re naturally pretty, and the way he looks at you…”

Madge pauses there, letting her voice trail off.  “I’m sure that Peeta could care less about what you have on. You’re letting me do this so that _you feel good tonight. Confident.”_

“And don’t worry, you’ll be able to go back to your slummy self in no time.” She continues a minute later. “He’ll like you either way.”

“Thanks Madge.” The sarcasm is so thick in my voice you could cut it with a knife. “Talking with you is always a real confidence booster.”

She had shown up at my house later on that afternoon bearing an armload of clothing options. We had finally decided on these brown linen shorts, (“Those are perfect with your dark skin tone, Katniss.  They make your legs and ass look amazing.” Madge had told me) and a cream colored, flowing tank. She had tried to convince me to ditch my bra, but I put my foot down at that.

“Madge!”

“What? No bra lines. Your boobs are great!”

I covered my eyes with my hand and groaned. “Absolutely not.”

Madge shrugs at that. “Your loss. Well, more specifically, Peeta’s loss.”

She’s going to be the death of me.

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++

 

I hear the doorbell ring as I’m exiting the bathroom. He’s here.

After taking a deep breath, I open the door. There stands Peeta on my front porch, and it’s the strangest feeling I’ve ever had that washes over me in that moment. Vivid scenes flash suddenly through my mind.  

They are the memories that never were.

_The two of us in swimsuits as awkward teenagers, getting on our bicycles and pedaling together to the city pool. Staying out way too late. Splashing and playing, his fair skin red and freckled._

_Hanging out at my house, watching television with his arm around me. My head fits on his shoulder perfectly._

Peeta _in a tuxedo, corsage in hand on prom night. Posing together for pictures beforehand._

_A hotel room. First times. Clumsy touches. Crossing that threshold from adolescence into adulthood._

I shake myself out of the trance. The trick that my mind just played on me had left me feeling cheated somehow.

But only for a minute, because Peeta himself is here now. Not a dream, or a fantasy about the boy that he used to be.  

He looks at me with those beautiful blue eyes and I can’t help but smile.

“Hi, Peeta.”  

He gives me that shy smile of his and nods in my direction. “Katniss, you look beautiful.”  

Peeta is dressed in a similar way that I am, nice shorts and a polo shirt that does amazing things to his biceps. It looks like he got a haircut today also.

“Thank you.” We do that goofy staring at each other thing again. I’m pretty sure that we’re never going to leave my front porch if this keeps up.

“So what are we doing tonight?”

I follow Peeta to his car and he holds the passenger door open for me, holding off on answering my question until he’s buckled up in his own seat and the car is running. “Well, I wanted to take you out to dinner. But I also want the chance to talk to you without anyone bothering us.”

“So what does that mean?” I ask him with an encouraging look.  

Peeta reaches over and gently squeezes my hand. At his light touch sparks fly and electricity jolts through me.

Well, that was unexpected.

He lets go of my hand to put the car in reverse and back out of my driveway.  Glancing in his rear view mirror he continues,“It means that I brought dinner for us to have at my apartment. Which unfortunately, only has a couch right now.  And a coffee table. And appliances. Is that okay?” He puts the car in drive and glances over at me.

“Or we could just go out to eat somewhere …”. He trails off, looking a little anxious.

I don’t even need to think about it. I laugh a little. Poor Peeta. He really doesn’t get it.  

“That sounds really nice, actually.”  

Panem is such a nosy little community. If Peeta and I set foot together anywhere in town, word will spread faster than wildfire.

He lets out a sigh of relief. “Good. I didn’t want you to think that I’m a creep.”  

“I don’t think you’re a creep. You’re Peeta.  You give off a solid “not a creep vibe.” “

Peeta chuckles. “I’ll try my best to be a perfect gentleman.”  

_What if I don’t want you to be a gentleman?_ The thought crosses my mind unbidden and I do my best to shake it off.  For a girl without any sexual experience, I find my mind wondering to that subject more and more lately.

I’m surprised when he pulls up behind the bakery and puts the car in park.

“This is it.” Peeta tells me, shuttling the car off and pulling the keys from the ignition. I must look surprised, because he continues, “There’s an apartment upstairs.  Grandpa’s last renter had already decided to leave when Dad and I both made the decision to move back here. I took the apartment and Dad is staying with Grandpa until he finds a house.”

We get out of the car, and Peeta grabs a large picnic hamper from the trunk.  Hefting it up with one hand, he places the other on the small of my back and steers me toward the rear entrance of the bakery.

“Here we are.” He tells me. “Home sweet home.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to cut it off mid-date but I have good things planned for the second half of the evening in chapter 8...
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are- the second half of Katniss and Peeta’s date!
> 
> I agonized over this chapter a lot but with the amazing (da-da-ta-da) evvykurler at my side as beta, I’m very pleased with the end result and I hope you are too.
> 
> I own nothing HG related.

“So this is it.” Peeta says. The two of us are standing inside the doorway of his apartment above the bakery _._

 

Smooth hardwood floors run the length of the single, open room, which contains the living area, dining and kitchen space all in one. The walls are exposed brick with tall, narrow windows that run almost floor to ceiling, and the ceiling itself has visible beams with industrial style lights suspended between them.

 

“It’s really nice,” I tell him, peering around the room. That’s a total understatement. I think it’s beautiful, old fashioned but comfortable.

 

I’m drooling a little to be honest.

 

“Thanks. I’m excited about moving in.” Peeta nods in the direction of the windows. “I really need to get some blinds up soon.”  

 

He walks away from me to set the picnic hamper on the kitchen counter. “Do you want the rest of the grand tour before we eat?”

 

“Yes please.”

 

“This is pretty much it. There’s one bedroom,” Peeta says as he opens the door to an empty room, “and the bathroom. It’s kind of a small place.”

 

“I wouldn’t say that it’s small, it’s just the right size for one person.” I run my palm down the smooth surface of the door frame. “I’m kind of jealous, honestly. Sometimes I think I’ll never move out of my mom’s house.”

 

“Nah, you’ll get there. Don’t rush it.” He pulls the bedroom door shut with a _click._ “It just felt like the right time to get my own place.”

 

I follow him into the kitchen where he begins to unload the food onto the counter. Whatever he brought us for dinner smells delicious.

 

“Can I do anything to help?”  I ask, leaning against the kitchen counter top and watching him.

 

“There’s not much to do,” Peeta straightens up after turning on the oven. “I just have to warm some things up. I wish that I’d had time to fix you a meal myself.”

 

“You like to cook?” I can’t say that I’m surprised.

 

“Yes, actually. I had planned on making dinner for you after I moved in and got settled. My big plan wasn’t grabbing takeout food and eating it in my empty apartment.” Peeta grins wryly, leaning back against the countertop.

 

“That’s okay, you can cook for me anytime. Cooking isn’t my thing, but eating definitely is.” I reassure him.

 

After he puts the food in the oven to heat up, we move to the couch. It’s soft and plush, and I sink down into it. “This is comfortable.”

 

Peeta smoothes a hand across the top of the couch. “Yeah it’s actually new, I did splurge on it. Everything else is second-hand.”

 

Peeta leans towards me, and moves to take my hand in his. “I’m really glad you could come over tonight, Katniss.” His eyes light up, and his thumb rubs a little circle on my palm.

 

It’s distracting. My eyes skim up from where his hand holds mine, across his strong arms and up to his face, drinking in the details of him. His eyes crinkle in the corner when he smiles.

 

And that smile of his. It’s so beautiful that it makes my chest hurt. 

 

I wish that I wasn’t so terrible at saying something.  All that I can manage is “Me too.” We sit there for another minute, watching each other closely. It’s so intense that I feel like I can hardly breathe.

 

“How have you been?” he asks me in a soft voice. He clears his throat and leans back, finally dropping my hand.

 

It’s probably a good thing Peeta does that if we’re going to have a real conversation. I can’t seem to think when he’s touching me.

 

“What do you want to know?” We had talked a little at the bar last night but it had been crowded and loud, and we definitely didn’t get into any deeper topics.

 

“I don’t know, tell me anything, everything.”

 

Peeta sits and listens while I talk about my decision to finally start college classes last fall. “I didn’t feel ready to start until then, I just wasn’t sure what field interested me. I finally did settle on social work because it felt like a good fit. I’m still not totally sure about it, though.” I shrug.

 

“I finished up my business degree last year,” he tells me. “I always wanted to run the bakery, and my brothers were never really interested in it. But I also took some art classes. I really enjoyed that a lot, more as a hobby though.”

 

“I know what you mean. I still like to shoot, but it’s not something that I want to devote all of my time to.”

 

I go on to tell him about my part time summer job as the archery instructor for the local nature camp. “It’s a lot of fun, but by the time summer is over I’m ready for a break.”

 

“I bet those kids love you.” Peeta gets up off the couch, and heads towards the kitchen. “I think the food should be ready. Just wait here and I’ll be right back. You don’t have to do a thing.”

 

“It’s probably for the best that I don’t,” I assure him.

 

“It’s okay, I like waiting on you. You do enough of that kind of stuff at _Sae’s,_ I’m sure.”  Peeta glances over his shoulder at me. “You can make it up to me later. Take me out in the woods with you sometime and protect me from the scary things out there.”

 

I snort at that. “Protect you from which scary thing? The deer or the squirrels?”

 

“Whatever is trying to get me.”  He comes back over to the couch with two plates and hands me one.

 

“Okay, I’ll remember that. And actually, I just go use the conservation league’s range when I shoot now, for the most part.” I wave my fork at him. “But you’re welcome to come with me some time.”

 

“Thanks, I’d really like that.”

 

“Oh, this looks so good.” I tell him, looking down at my plate, which is loaded with a piece of delicious-looking chicken and potatoes, covered in a light sauce with a side of baby vegetables. I spear a tiny broccoli floret and take a bite.

 

“This is the best damn broccoli I’ve ever had in my life.” I moan happily and go to take a bite of something else.  Everything is perfect.

 

“You’re really enjoying that broccoli huh?”

 

Peeta looks down and smiles to himself, biting his lip to keep from laughing.

 

I smack his arm. “Knock it off, Mellark. You said that you were going to be a gentleman.”

 

“I’m trying, but you make it hard sometimes.”

 

Peeta acts like he’s about to say something else but instead of waiting for him to speak, I hear myself blurting out-“That’s what she said!”

 

Did I just say that out loud?

 

The silence in the room is deafening. Peeta’s blue eyes are as round as saucers, and his voice has ratcheted up an octave or two when he speaks. “What?”

 

“You know, _The Office?_ Michael Scott? ‘That’s what she said’?” I have to absolutely be grimacing at this point.  “You’ve seen the show before, right?”

 

“No, I guess that you’ll have to show it to me sometime.” Peeta scratches the back of his head, and the awkward silence continues for a moment until, thankfully, he snaps his fingers and changes the subject. “I forgot something!”

 

Peeta comes back from the kitchen with a _Mellark’s_ bag in hand. “I forgot about these.” He places a few rolls on my plate. “At least I can say that I made you something. These are our cheese buns, they have provolone and parmesan cheese baked inside. It’s a recipe that I’m bringing with me to this location, and I have to say that if you don’t like these there’s something wrong with you.”

 

“Well, the way to my heart is through the cheese aisle.” I tell him, preparing to take a bite of the savory bread. And I’m really trying not to moan too loudly over the buns, but it's impossible because each bite is literal perfection.

 

“I’m sorry.” I laugh as the sound escapes from my mouth. “I can’t help it. They’re too good.”

 

Peeta chuckles at the noise that I just made, but the look on his face is sweet. “You don’t have to change anything for me, Katniss. I’m just glad that you’re here, and that you’re enjoying yourself.”

 

“Well, I am.” My cheeks feel warm, and I’m flustered now. “Enjoying myself that is. And I do like to eat, so, you know.” Shrugging my shoulders, I go to stuff another bite of food in my mouth. An orator I am not.

 

“That’s good.” He teases me, and we continue our meal. Peeta fills me in on his plans for the apartment, and before I realize it our plates are clean.

 

He gets up from the couch to refill our drinks, and comes back over bringing a box of cookies with him. The lid is open and he offers me the first choice.

 

“These are beautiful,” I tell him, admiring the delicately iced sugar cookie that I selected.

 

“Thank you. That’s me putting some of my art classes to use.” Peeta replies, picking up a chocolate chip cookie.

 

“How do you stay in such good shape?” I gesture towards his body with my cookie in hand.

 

He turns a little pink, and I stop to think about how that came across. “I just mean that I would probably weigh 800 pounds if I worked there. You, obviously, you know, don’t weigh that much.”

 

That was cringe-worthy, I’m truly horrible at this.

 

“It’s way more labor intensive work than you would think, and I haul a lot of industrial sized bags of supplies around. They save the heavy lifting for me- I’m built for braun, I guess.” He continues a moment later, “I should probably watch it though, my dad is starting to get kind of paunchy.”

 

“Oh, I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” I stuff another cookie in my mouth before any more stupidity can crawl it’s way out. 

 

You would think that I’d feel uncomfortable now, after all of the crazy sounding things that I’ve said to him tonight. But Peeta just laughs it off, as if I’m the funniest girl he’s ever met.

 

I can just be myself with him.

 

We finish up the cookies and move on to less awkward topics, discussing the crazy names that our parents gave us.

 

“My dad was fascinated with botany.” I say.

 

“Yeah, well my family was into bread.” I snort at that, and he laughs. “Seriously, I think it was a family name? I think that my parents just didn’t really care by the time that I came along. I was a “surprise” apparently.”

 

Peeta goes on to talk about his brothers a little more, where they are now and what they have been doing. Phillip, the one that Gale went to school with, is in advertising. His oldest brother Jeffrey is in medical school.

 

This leads me to bring up my sister, and her upcoming plans.

 

“I’m just so proud of her. She’s so bright, but she works really hard as well. She deserves every good thing that’s happening to her. Did I mention that she was valedictorian this year?”

 

Peeta's eyes crinkle when he smiles, “No, but that’s really great, and I’ll bet that you had a lot to do with that.”

 

I can’t get over how the tone of our conversation keeps jumping around. Because now it feels serious, as if we’re done teasing each other. “With Prim? She’s the smart one. Not me, I’m just kind of average.”

 

“You told me that another time. I think your exact words were, ‘I’m nothing special.’ I didn’t believe it then, and I don’t believe it now.”

 

I don’t know how to answer him, so I keep quiet.  But Peeta fills the silence. “You have such a big heart. You give and give, it’s just what you do.”

 

“Do you remember that night when we were kids?” I nod in response to his question. “You were in so much pain. But you still put _my_ needs ahead of your own, and no one else has ever done that for me. Ever.”

 

Peeta reaches out and uses his thumb to wipe a tear out of the corner of my eye.  His touch is gentle, his voice almost a whisper. “Katniss, I don’t think that you’ve ever put yourself first a day in your life. I know that we hardly know each other now, but I’d really like the chance to remedy that.”

 

He pauses to take a breath, “And maybe, once you do get to know me again, I could be the one to put you first for a change.”

 

“I never forgot you, you know,” I reply, and find that I’m crying in earnest. “That night meant just as much to me.”

 

This time, I’m the one reaching for him. I run the tips of my fingers down his cheeks, my thumb grazing his lower lip. Lips that I spent years thinking about. Missing them, missing him. My finger traces his jaw and he shivers.

 

Now that I know he feels the same way, every defense that I have built up inside of me falls down, into rubble. Every sense of self preservation I have is gone in that moment.

 

“I missed you so much.” I tell him, because I just can’t keep it inside, the words bubble up out of me.

 

“Me too. Katniss, you have no idea.”

 

“What happened?” I need to know. “You just disappeared.” 

 

The feel of his words are soft against my cheek. “I just thought that you were better off without me.”

 

“Peeta...”

 

“I wish that I could go back and tell that insecure fourteen year old to be braver, but I can’t. I’m so sorry.”

 

“I’ll forgive you. Just please don’t ever do that to me again.” 

 

“Never. I swear.” His eyes are barely open, and he’s breathing only inches away from my mouth. I can feel his exhale, and I’m sure that he feels mine. His breath ghosts across my lips and leaves me full of anticipation. _Just come a little closer,_ I think, _you’re almost there._

 

And then he’s kissing me. His lips are warm and soft, and I feel myself leaning into him. I’m hungry for more, starving for him. My body is thrumming like a live wire, and I feel my lips part on their own volition.

 

But at the same time that I’m reaching, Peeta pulls back. His eyes are hazy, his voice husky. “Katniss, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, but I wanted to kiss you so badly. I want to do this the right way with you.”

 

I feel like telling him to shut up and kiss me again. _More, please_ my mind begs, but then he’s speaking again.

 

“I think that maybe we need to get to know each other again before jumping into anything.  You need to know for sure that I’m what you want.”

 

I’m a little bit hurt, and embarrassed by my eager reaction to him. But even I can recognize the desire evident in his eyes. I know that he’s telling me the truth.

 

This doesn’t need to be rushed, because we have all the time in the world.

 

“Oh yeah? What about you?” I ask Peeta softly.

 

His face is open, every emotion laid bare before me. “I already do. I know exactly what I want.”

 

I blink and shake my head a little, leaning away from him in an attempt to clear my fuzzy mind and racing pulse. “Okay. I’d like that. I want to get to know you again. I want to find out where this is going.”

 

”Yeah?” His smile outshines the sun.

 

”Definitely.” 

 

  
  
  
  
  
Find me on tumblr @butrfac14  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter. It feels like I can breathe a little easier after posting this one.
> 
> I own nothing from The Office.
> 
> You guys are so wonderful, I can’t thank you enough!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you lovely people for reading my story, it means so much to me. Every hit on this story is incites a little happy dance in my brain.
> 
> Thank you so much evvykurler for your beta work. You are worth your weight in gold, and the angel on my shoulder.  
> You will never know how much your help means to me. 
> 
> I don't own any part of The Hunger Games.
> 
> Find me on tumblr @butrfac14

“Katniss?” I look up at Sae from my spot by the time clock. She has the restaurant’s weekly supply order in the her hand. “Did you hear me? I asked you how the peach iced tea’s been selling this month. Should I order some more?”

 

“I probably would.” I throw an apron over my head and reach behind my back to tie the strings.  My mind is still lingering on last night, and Peeta. It’s like my senses are full of him and I can’t shake the feeling. The touch of his hand in mine, his smell, the feel of his kiss. 

 

As if on cue, the ice maker empties its newest batch with a loud  _ crash, _ startling me out of my thoughts. I don’t know how I’ll get through the day like this.

 

I need to snap out of it. I’m in a Peeta-induced fog.

 

“Hon, help me carry these to the kitchen please.” Sae hands me some green beans from off the stockroom shelves, and I follow behind her. “So, I hear that you’ve been taking some of that advice I gave you.” 

 

She walks over to the refrigerator to finish filling out her order form, leaving me staring at her polyester-covered backside. A definite sense of unease grows inside of me as I set the cans down on the table. 

 

Is the woman a mind reader?

 

I follow her across the room, where she’s digging around on the bottom shelf of the fridge. “Hmm, think I’d better get some more mayo.” 

 

“Sae?’

 

“Yes, dear?” She straightens up and peers at me over the rims of her bifocals.

 

I cross my arms over my chest and stare at her pointedly. “What did you hear exactly?” She wouldn’t have heard about Peeta already, could she? People are nosy around here, but that would be taking it to an extreme. 

 

I give her my best scowl. It usually gets the job done.

 

Sae cackles, “Don’t get your pants in a wad. I saw your sister at the drugstore yesterday, and she told me all about your night out with Madge. Said that you came home looking like something the cat drug in.” I’m sure that last line isn't a direct quote from Prim. 

 

I’m equally sure that I’m going to murder my sister. I was already uneasy about Prim’s ability to keep her mouth shut before. But after that little tidbit? I feel sick to my stomach. 

 

Fielding questions from every customer in the diner is not something I’m looking forward to. 

 

I need to get ahold of Prim. Now.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

It was Peeta’s fault that Prim found out about us in the first place. 

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

_ Last night... _

 

We linger in his car, watching insects flit in and out of the headlamps. Neither of us seem to be in a hurry to leave its confines. 

 

“When is your last day at work?” I ask him, turning in my seat to face him. 

 

“Friday. And I’m counting down the days.” Peeta lets his hands rest on the steering wheel. “I can’t wait to get out of there. There isn’t a single thing I’m going to miss about that place.” 

 

He pauses for a moment, seems to shift gears mentally. “I’m going to finish moving in to the apartment on Sunday.” I already knew that, but don’t really want to let him know my eavesdropping in the diner. “I have something going on Friday afternoon, and then I’ll need Saturday to get my stuff loaded onto the moving truck.”

 

“That’s not too bad. Only what, four more days?”

 

“I guess so.” He grips the steering wheel tightly, and looks lost in thought.

 

We’re quiet for a minute. 

 

“You’d better get going, it’s almost 11.” I tell him, unbuckling my seatbelt.

 

Peeta exhales loudly. “Yeah, you’re right. Let me walk you to your door.” He’s out of the car, shutting his own door so fast that I don’t have a chance to protest.

 

“You don’t have to do that,” I tell him, climbing out as he holds the door for me.

 

“I want to. How else would I kiss you good night?”

 

Hmm. There is that.

 

Once I’m out of the car the wind picks up, causing my hair to flutter around my shoulders. Peeta looks transfixed by its movement, reaching out a hand, letting the strands slip through his fingers. It’s the gentlest possible touch. “You have the prettiest hair. I remember how your braid always looked so shiny and soft when we were in school. I would stare at you in class and think about what it would feel like.” He looks a little sheepish but I just laugh, because he’s adorable.

 

“Well now you’ve got to tell me- does it feel just like you imagined it would?”

 

“No, because your hair is like the rest of you- it’s even  _ better _ than I thought it would be.” There’s a little smile on his face as he drops the strands, and runs his fingers all the way down my arm. He gives my wrist a squeeze before releasing me. “I have to ask you something.”

 

“That sounds serious.”

 

Peeta shakes his head. “Not exactly. I just wanted to know if you would come over and keep me company Sunday? I won’t make you put my furniture together or anything. We could order pizza, and I’ll bring some more of my cookies. What do you say?” His eyes are like a puppy’s, big and pleading. 

 

I’m preparing to tell him that I will, but the sound of a voice behind me makes me lose my train of thought.

 

“Katniss?” Prim walks out on the porch. She’s giving me a puzzled look, and I can’t say that I blame her. I should have mentioned Peeta to her while I had the chance to this morning. 

 

Things would probably feel a little less awkward right now.

 

“Hi Prim.” He steps towards her, waving his hand in greeting. 

 

My sister’s face scrunches up in thought for a minute. “Is that Peeta Mellark?” Her eyes flit toward me but I avoid them. She’s just going to grill me later anyway.

 

Peeta gives Prim a charming smile, while I give him a nudge in the ribs. “I told you, you haven’t changed that much. People still know who you are.”

 

Meanwhile, my sister’s eyes run up and down his frame appreciatively. “I didn’t know that you and Katniss were… friends. She’s never mentioned you.” 

 

I interrupt Prim before she gets another word out of her mouth. “We ran into each other at the bar last night, and decided to have dinner together. It’s not a big deal.” 

 

There, she has all of the facts. I raise my eyebrows and try to communicate telepathically with her. 

 

_ Please go back inside now. _

 

Peeta chooses that moment to say, “Oh yeah? Not a big deal, huh.”

 

As Prim is also saying, “I just can’t believe that you finally went out with someone, Katniss. Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

_ Seriously Prim?  _

 

I don’t know why I’m attempting the telepathic route with her again, because it obviously didn't work the first time. Or she’s ignoring me. 

 

Peeta searches my face for a sign of denial, but I shrug. “Yeah, it’s true. I don’t date, I mean I  _ haven’t _ dated anyone.” 

 

“And her personality doesn’t help her get dates either.” Prim chimes in. “You must be a real glutton for punishment.” 

 

I’m going to hurt her.

 

Peeta seems unfazed. “I’ve only been out with a few girls myself, never anything serious. No one really made much of an impression on me.” He takes my hand again and squeezes it. “I guess I was just waiting on the right girl.”

 

Prim jabs his finger in the air behind her. “Well, you two are adorable. But I’d better go back in. I have my  _ own _ hot date with a bag of microwave popcorn.” She looks pointedly at me this time, and when Peeta turns his back I get a thumbs up. She’s incorrigible.

 

The door closes behind her and we’re alone again, and Peet clears his throat before speaking. “So I’m really the first guy you’ve dated? Ever?”

 

“Yeah, unless you count Gale taking me to my senior prom. Which shouldn’t count at all because he’s pretty much like my brother.” I pause. “Why? Too much pressure?”

 

Peeta is quiet for a minute before he speaks, and I’m starting to wonder if my confession bothers him for some reason. “Definitely not. And I hope that this doesn’t make me sound like some kind of caveman, but I’m glad that it’s me. I’d hate to think of some idiot hurting you. I’d like to be your  _ only _ idiot.”

 

He gets an eye roll for that one.

 

We are quiet for a minute, and Peeta steps in closer, taking my hands again and threading his fingers through mine. “I had better get going. I don’t really want to, though.”

 

“I know, I hate to see you go too.” I stand on my tip toes and give him a soft kiss. It’s meant to be quick, not wanting to get carried away in my driveway, but I find myself lingering.

 

Peeta clears his throat and steps back a bit. Right. Not rushing things. “So do you want to come over Sunday? That will give you some time to think a little bit.”

 

“Okay. Sunday is good.”

 

“Can I call you tomorrow?” 

 

I nod. 

 

“I’d better go or I’m never going to.” 

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

I send my sister a quick text message. It’s 6am and I doubt that she’s out of bed yet, but there might not be time to call her later during the morning rush. 

 

**K: Don’t talk to anyone about Peeta. Please.**

 

“I’m going to open up,” Sae calls out on her way to unlock the front doors. I follow behind and grab my pad and pen, shoving them into my apron pocket. I’m the only waitress until Jo shows up at 7, so I need to be ready.

 

But there’s nobody waiting on Sae to unlock the door. So she waltzes back in, and I fix a cup of coffee loaded with cream and sugar for myself. 

 

“You can’t really even call that stuff coffee now,” she chides me, stepping behind the counter and grabbing the silverware tray and paper napkins, so that we can have them rolled up and ready when the customers arrive.

 

“I can’t handle it black,” I tell her, still shuddering a bit after the first swallow of the inky liquid. 

 

We wrap in companionable silence for a few more minutes. “Katniss,” Sae speaks up, placing another set on our pile, “Don’t mind an old lady giving you some grief, or your little sister for that matter. The two of us just want you to be happy. We care about you, and we’ve watched you spend a lot of years focusing on everyone but yourself.”

 

I huff. “That’s funny, Sae. You’re the second person that’s told me that recently.” I think of Peeta, and last night’s confessions in his empty apartment. 

 

A few customers walk in at that moment, so I push off the counter and grab menus. Sae gives me a knowing look as I go to wait on the pair.

 

“I'd say that both of us are pretty smart then.”

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

“Here we are ladies, two Sunrise Specials.” I set the plates down in front of the women. “Does everything look good?’

 

“Absolutely perfect, dear. Just like always.” Effie pats her bouffant hair as she speaks, and Annie reaches across the table to grab the salt. 

 

The two are the joint proprietors of the yoga studio/juice bar down the street. They usually come in a few days a week for breakfast, after leading their early morning classes. Effie handles the class for beginners and Annie takes the advanced group.  I’ve never been to either, but I hear that Annie’s class is brutal. It’s hard to image, because she is such a thin wisp of a woman, who speaks so quietly that I only catch half of what she tells me.

 

I walk away to get refills on their coffee, when I feel the tell-tale buzz of the cell phone in my back pocket. Glancing back at the table, Effie and Annie seem to be deep in conversation and not bothering with their half-full cups. I sneak back in the kitchen and pull out my phone, and see a message from Prim.

 

**PE: Why? Are you embarrassed?**

 

**K: No, I’m not embarrassed. We only went out once, and I don’t want everyone bugging me about it.**

 

**PE: I saw you kissing him in the driveway!**

 

_ Seriously? _

 

**K: You had to watch?!**

**K: I have to get back to work now. Just do me a favor and. don’t. say. a. word. Got it?**

 

I lock the screen and stick my phone back into my pocket. Grab the coffee pot and head back over to the table. 

 

As I’m pouring a refill for Effie, I feel my phone vibrate again. “Annie, do you need any more?” I ask, reaching for her cup.

 

“Yes, thank you Katniss.” I fill it to the brim, and return the pot to the warmer plate before heading back into the kitchen to see what Prim has to say now. I can’t keep this up all day, but right now there’s definitely a pressing need to make sure that my sister keeps her mouth shut.

 

But when I pull my phone out and unlock the screen, I see a message from Gale. Great, now he’s in on it too.

 

**G: Hey Catnip. How’d the date go?**

 

**K: It was nice, we had a good time.**

**K: Is Madge with you?**

 

**G: We’re at her house, I stopped by on my way to work.**

**G: She wants to know if you two boned.**

 

I roll my eyes.

 

**K: Do you guys even know me? No, nothing happened!**

 

My friends are idiots. I shake my head and go back to work.

 

I have another table that’s ready to leave, so I take their bill to the register to ring them out. I’m waiting on Jo to finish using the cash register when I overhear talk at the counter that makes me cringe. 

 

“I heard she’s crazy as hell- that’s why he divorced her.” 

 

“She never was right after those boys were born, especially the youngest. Really went off the deep end after that one. What was his name? It was something kind of funny.” 

 

“I can’t remember either, but you’re right. My wife said the reason they took off so soon was to stick her in a nuthouse in the capitol.” 

 

I shake my head. Nuthouse? Who talks like that? I feel like saying something, but don’t want to start an argument with those two today. I just don’t have the energy for it. 

 

I wonder if people talked about my mother like that after Dad died. In this town? Probably. I guess enough time has passed since his death that people seem to have forgotten about her mental collapse. Or they just don’t care if I hear it.

 

Jo is finally done, so I take care of my customer’s bill and head back to the table, trying to shake it off. Sae’s is the local gossip hub, so I shouldn’t be surprised by it. I just hate the idea of Peeta and his family being talked about like that. I also kind of hate the idea of other people knowing things about him that I don't.

 

I wonder if it’s true- was his mother really institutionalized?

 

“Do you two need anything else?” I ask Effie and Annie. The two of them are usually in a hurry to get back to their shop to open for the day, so I have their check completed and ready to cash out for them.

 

“No, I couldn’t eat another bite. It was wonderful as always.” Effie replies for both of them, as she glances at her wristwatch. The woman is a slave to her ‘schedule’, but there must be a few minutes to spare today because she continues speaking in a low voice. “Did you hear that David Mellark is back at the bakery? There is a handsome, well-spoken man.”

 

“And their youngest child is supposed to be joining him soon. I remember hearing that there was some sort of trouble with him? Something about a scandal with a married woman.  I do hope that everything stays quite the same at the bakery. I would hate to see the integrity of the business compromised. Not only that, but I did hear that there were some ‘issues’ that were quite similar to his mother’s as well.”

 

I feel myself stagger back at her words. “Katniss, dear- are you alright? You appear to been taken quite ill all of a sudden.”

 

Quickly, I tear off the check and hand it to Effie. “I’ll be right back.” The two of them give me strange looks as I walk away.

 

What is Peeta not telling me? Mr. “I’ve been waiting on the right girl”. Tears well up in my eyes. What have I gotten myself into with him? I feel like a fool. Like a stupid, gullible girl who’s been taken in by a childhood fantasy. I should have known that he was too good to be true.

 

But the worst part is that he lied to me. Why would he do that? 

 

I’ve almost made it to the kitchen when I hear Jo call out to me, “Hey 

Brainless, you’ve got something.” She’s holding a bouquet of flowers in her hand, and the delivery man is just walking out the front door. “Who are those from?”

 

With shaking hands, I take the arrangement from her. It’s small but beautiful, with tiger lillies and a single sunset orange rose. My hand is shaking as I set the vase down and open the card.

 

_ I can’t wait to see you again. _

_ -Peeta _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, the second to last chapter. Yay!
> 
> I had so much help with this. My beta evvykurler is the best (I hit the jackpot with her, I'm not going to lie). And the wonderful dandeliononfire helped me get through some technical difficulties that I came across AND (I'm totally bragging here) helped me co-write a portion of this chapter. Cool, huh?

  
  
  


I can’t believe that I’m here.

 

The sign on the Capitol  _ Mellark's Bakery  _ is printed in dark blue scrollwork, a bold statement against the white facade of the building. It’s bigger than our store in Panem, which is not much more than a large service counter. A peek inside the front window tells me that there are a few customers still inside, although according to the sign on the window, it’s almost closing time. 

 

Peeta told me that he would be at the bakery all day today, and I hope that he meant that literally. 

 

When I got home from my shift at _Sae’s_ this afternoon, I did something completely out of the norm for me. 

 

I talked to my mom. 

 

Prim (no surprise there) had told our mother all about my date with Peeta last night, so Mom practically ambushed me the minute that I walked through the door. After the crazy back and forth swing of my emotions all day, I was left feeling completely strung out. And when I opened my mouth to answer her, all that came out of it was a choked sob.

 

“Katniss?” Mom pulled me into her arms and stroked my back. “What’s wrong?”

 

You have to know something about me. 

 

I’m not a crier.

 

And to tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure that I could narrow down which emotion was causing the tears that streamed down my face. Anger, frustration, or guilt? All three of them were warring inside of me.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Mom asked, pulling back and examining my face. The two of us sat down on the couch, and I told her everything. The whole story, right from the beginning on the night of dad’s funeral to this morning and the ugly things that I’d heard about Peeta at work. She listened to everything that I had to say in silent support.

 

“Katniss, your father and I came from very...different backgrounds. His home life was terrible, and I heard a lot of ignorant comments from people because of it.” 

 

Mom shakes her head,“If I had listened to every awful thing that people told me about your father, without finding out what he was really like for myself, I would’ve missed out on the love of my life. He was the best man that I ever knew.”

 

“There could be some things from Peeta’s past that he’s not proud of. You don’t know, and you won’t know until you talk to him about it. What’s he doing with his life right now?”

 

I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “Peeta just graduated from college, and he’s going to be running the bakery for the most part.” 

 

“At twenty-two? It doesn’t sound like he’s afraid of responsibility or hard work. Honestly, that sounds to me like someone who pretty much has their act together.”

 

“I know.” A sigh escapes me. “I don’t know what to think. None of the things that I heard seem to make any sense, but what if there’s some truth to it?”

 

“You have very good instincts, honey. If you like him that much- and I think that you must because I’ve never even heard you _mention_ another boys name- I wouldn’t just toss him aside without giving him a chance.”

 

I sat on the couch after the talk with my mom and realized that I wanted to see him tonight. Badly. A phone call didn’t seem like enough. This feels like a major event in our burgeoning relationship, and I need to be able to see his face when I ask him those questions. 

 

Dropping in on him unexpectedly had seemed like a great way to do that, at first.  _ Sure Katniss, he’ll be happy to see you! It’s not weird at all!  _ I told myself, pulling onto the highway after finding the bakery’s address on my GPS. My confidence was riding pretty high at that point.

 

But every exit sign I passed on the way here seemed like a marker for the anxiety inching through my body, and I began to curse my impulsive nature for getting me into this. I even sat in my car and seriously considered driving back home once I’d arrived at the bakery.

 

Instead of overthinking it for another minute, I grab the front door handle and yank it open.

 

A gawky-looking guy greets me as I approach the counter.

 

“Is Peeta here?” I ask, picking up the end of my braid and fiddling with it. 

 

Marv, according to the name tag he wears, walks to the end of the counter and sticks his head around the corner. “Peet, someone is here to see you.” I hear quiet conversation for a minute before the cashier comes back to his station. “He’ll be out in a minute. Do you want anything while you’re waiting?”

 

I scan the display of baked goods. Everything looks great, but I feel too nervous to eat. My stomach is doing the old ‘trying to crawl up out of my body thing’ again, so eventually I just tell him no.

 

“Are you sure I can’t tempt you with some of my buns?” I look up, and there’s Peeta, leaning against the doorway smirking at me. I can’t help the laugh that escapes as he heads my way. 

 

“Hey you.” His smile is warm. “What are you doing here? This is a nice surprise.”

 

I shrug. “Oh, I just wanted to tell you thanks- for the flowers.” 

 

Wow, that was pure baloney. “No, actually, that's not it. It’s just been a weird day, and I really wanted to see you.”

 

“Well, I’m  _ always _ glad to see you, weird day or not. ” Peeta wraps his arms around me, and he smells so good, like clean sweat and pastries, musky and sweet at the same time. I attempt to inconspicuously sniff him a little longer, feeling some of the tension slip away from me. I forgot how comfortable he makes me feel. It’s like being  _ home _ , and my resolve to question him slips a little. His arms have some kind of sedative effect on me.

 

He asks if I want to keep him company in the kitchen while he finishes up, so I follow him around the corner. It’s deserted except for the two of us.

 

“You can be my helper, I was just getting ready to mix up some muffins for the morning bakers.” Peeta grabs an apron and drapes it over my neck. He reaches around my back to tie the strings, his hands lingering for a minute longer than necessary to tease me. 

 

“I already told you that I'm hopeless in the kitchen,” I remind him, shaking my head with a laugh.

 

He pulls a stool up for me beside the large work table. “You can just keep me company.”  

 

I watch as Peeta measures the ingredients, large scoops of flour and sugar, before adding salt, baking soda, and baking powder from small marked containers that sit out on the counter. He mixes the ingredients by hand, and seems to become lost in the process. It’s quiet. The  _ tsking  _ sound of his whisk and the hum of the refrigerator are the only discernible noise.

 

I don’t mind the silence, I find. It’s comfortable, and I realize that I really enjoy watching him work. “Do you guys get everything ready the night before?” I ask as he pulls plastic wrap over the bowl of dry ingredients and sets it aside. 

 

Peeta shakes his head. “No, a lot of things can’t be done ahead of time. The yeast breads can’t set overnight, and since that’s the majority of what we bake I just try to get a start on the prep work that can be done the night before.”

 

“That’s too bad. I’m actually kind of curious about how bread is made.” I drag my finger through a little flour that’s spilled on the table. “I think that it’d be cool to see the whole process.”

 

“Why don’t you stop in the bakery one day next week, if you have a day off? I’d love to show you how to do it, and it’s not as hard as you think. It just takes a little patience and love.”

 

Marv pops his head around the corner to let Peeta know that he’s locked up the front and is leaving for the night. Once we’re alone Peeta speaks up again. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. If you have something else that you wanted to do around here I could meet you later.” He gives his underarms a sniff. “I should probably go home and get cleaned up first.”

 

“You don’t smell!” I laugh at him.  _ If he only knew- I’d take his scent and bottle it up if I could. _ “I can wait. I’m the one who dropped in on you, remember?” 

 

I hop off the stool to stand next to him. “I like watching you work. And actually, there is something that I wanted to talk to you about now that we’re alone.” 

 

“Okay.” Peeta gives me an easy grin. “What’s going on?”

 

Here goes nothing. “Do you remember how I said that it’s been a weird day?” 

 

“Yeah- what made it weird?”

 

“It’s just that…” I trail off, not sure how to articulate what I want to tell him. “Okay, I hope that you’re not upset, but this has been bothering me, and I thought that you’d rather know now than be blindsided with it later on.” 

 

“Know what?” Now I have his attention, although he doesn’t sound concerned.

 

His reaction helps me get over my nerves and just come right out and say it. “Your family was the subject of a lot of talk at  _ Sae’s _ today.”

 

“Huh.” He doesn’t look particularly surprised as he straightens up. “What did you hear?”

 

“Well, people were talking about your mother a lot, and Effie Trinket told me that you personally had an affair with a married woman- not to mention lots of other crazy things.” I tell him this while looking down at my feet, unable to bring myself to make eye contact with him.  _ This _ entire conversation is cringe-worthy enough without going into all the particulars of  _ that _ conversation.

 

I look up when I hear a laugh escape from his mouth. “I can just image what people say about my mother.” 

 

He shakes his head. “And no, I definitely haven’t broken up anybody’s marriage. The thanks for that rumor goes to my brother Philip, who I swear has no moral compass. Unfortunately for me, the two of us get mistaken for each other all the time.” I do remember Philip now that he brought him up- Peeta had been a lot shorter and stockier than his older brother when we were kids, but even then the resemblance had been obvious. 

 

“I told you that I haven’t gotten serious with anyone before, Katniss, and that’s the truth.” He pauses and his face is starting to turn red. “I mean, I haven’t even uh, you know…” Peeta shrugs, looking away from me and rubbing his palms down the sides of his pants. I wonder if they’re sweaty. “I know that’s not normal for a guy my age.”

 

“Oh.” I’m surprised by his admission, but don’t see what the big deal is. It’s kind of nice to know, actually.

 

Peeta looks like he’s waiting for me to say something, “Well, me neither,” I admit. “That’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Peeta.”

 

“I guess that we’re both a little behind the curve, then.” Peeta wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin on top of my head. I don’t want to move, and as a matter of fact I think that I could just spend the rest of the night right here. Who needs to go anywhere?

 

“Thanks for not getting upset about the gossip thing,” I say after a moment. “It bothered me a lot more than I’d like to admit.”

 

“I’m actually glad that you told me, Katniss. Don’t worry about it.” Peeta mumbles the words into the top of my head before pulling back. “I just have to put a few things away and lock up, and then we can get out of here. We could go somewhere for dinner if you want to?”

 

“Sounds good. I’ve just got one question though- is this going to be that date you promised me, Mellark?” I tease him, looking up into his face, and I’m so glad that I came tonight. 

 

The relief that I feel is palpable.

 

Peeta laughs. “No, definitely not. I’d prefer not to smell like the bakery when that happens. I actually thought that since you’re here tonight, I could just take you somewhere that I’ve been wanting to. Is that okay?” 

  
  
  


“I like this place,” I tell Peeta, straightening out my placemat. We’re sitting in a restaurant that’s just up the street from the bakery. It’s a lot like Sae’s, actually, except that this place serves all-day breakfast. There’s also the fact that the decor says ‘Capitol’ a little more than my bosses’ style of decorating that hasn’t changed since the 1970’s.

 

I wrap my hands around the glass of orange juice that I ordered to go with my waffles and bacon, and Peeta sips from the mug of hot tea in front of him. We’re waiting on our food, and I notice how tired he looks. 

 

“I’m sorry that I just showed up after you’ve been working all day. You’re probably exhausted.” I’m starting to feel guilty about keeping him out. “We probably could have talked about this stuff on the phone.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous. I did have big plans to go home and watch television until I passed out, and you’re right, that’s completely shot.” Peeta takes another drink of tea. “But what are you going to do? When my woman needs to see me, she needs to see me.”

 

I crumple my straw wrapper and toss it at his forehead. “Excuse me, sleepyhead. Your woman just had to make sure you were still awake.” 

 

He starts to say something else, but I’m saved from his retort with the arrival of our food. 

 

“Castor, I wasn’t sure if you’d be here tonight.” Peeta turns a wide smile on our server in recognition. “What are you doing out of the kitchen?”

 

“Oh, I figured that I’d come out and say hello since you’re leaving us soon. For the lady.” He sets my plate down, and the food smells delicious. “How have you been?” Castor asks after setting Peeta’s plate down in front of him.

 

“Things are good, I’ve just been pretty busy.” Peeta nods in my direction. “Let me introduce you to my friend - this is Katniss.”

 

I say hello, and the two of them talk for a few minutes, until Castor tells us that he’d better get back to the kitchen. Once he’s gone we both dig into our food. I didn’t realize how hungry I was, and everything is delicious.

 

The food is gone, our plates cleared away and Peeta sits staring into the bottom of his mug. He clears his throat and speaks up. “Katniss, there’s something that I wanted to talk to you about, too.” He looks up at me.

 

“It must be the night for it.” I joke, but the longer he fidgets, the more I realize he’s nervous about whatever it is he’s planning to say.

 

Peeta traces the rim of his mug with a fingertip, opening and closing his mouth a few times as if he’s looking for somewhere to begin but can’t quite find it. 

 

Finally, he exhales loudly. “I want you to know about what happened after we left Panem. And I have to warn you that it’s not all good.” 

 

“Go ahead and tell me, Peeta. I want to know.” 

 

_ I wonder how bad it is. _

 

The thought flashes through my mind, but I’m surprised to find that I feel calm. I’m honestly ready to hear the truth now, whatever it turns out to be.

 

Peeta gives me a nervous smile. “I got home that morning, and my dad absolutely  _ panicked  _ when he saw my face. He just kept saying that he was “going to figure everything out”, and it made me feel better for a day or two, like maybe things were going to get better. But the bottom fell out when Dad told us that we were moving. I remember that he kept repeating the words like it was going to be the best thing that ever happened.” 

 

“He’d gotten Mom into a treatment facility in the Capitol, and Dad promised us that she’d be better, that she wouldn’t touch me again. He’d make sure this time, and she was going to get the help that she needed.” He laughs wryly. “That all sounded good. Of course I wanted her to be better. But I didn’t realize that he meant we weren’t coming back until he mentioned the new bakery.” 

 

Peeta shakes his head. “I still don’t know how or why Dad kept that from us for so long.”

 

“So we left. Without a word to anybody-none of us were allowed to see our friends, and Dad told us just to forget about them because we wouldn’t be back. He was acting so strangely. I didn’t figure out until later on that he was afraid of Grandpa catching on to what Mom did.”

 

“Once she was admitted, the facility actually did help Mom a lot. The day that I saw you was the last time she ever laid a hand on me.”

 

“I guess that my Dad just figured that everything would magically be better after that. My parents were finally getting along, and the bakery was doing really well. My oldest brother was already heading to Capitol U in the fall so it didn’t change his life at all, and Phil was even more popular here than he was in Panem.” 

 

He pauses and looks out the window at the evening sky, barely visible above all of the city lights. “The only one who had a hard time adjusting was me. I hated it here. You know that morning when I left your house? I felt happy, even though you’d just lost your dad, and my mom had beaten the hell out of me. I don’t even remember walking home that day. All I could think about was you, and when I would see you again.”

 

“I had this whole plan, maybe it was slightly unrealistic since we were only fourteen.” He lets out a deep sigh. “I actually hated my parents for ruining that for me.”

 

“Peeta…” He looks like that boy again from our childhood, and I get up from my side of the booth and slide in next to him. “I wish that it had been different too- believe me. But nothing is ruined.”

 

“I know.” I lean my head on his shoulder, and he squeezes my hand. “I was so angry, all of the time, and I made some stupid choices in high school. Really stupid. You wouldn’t have recognized the guy I was back then- fighting, skipping school. I even got expelled once.”

 

“Pretty much anything that I could do to piss people off- you name it, I did it. If there was a button to push, I was pushing it. I spent about a year like that, and things kept escalating. I started sneaking out to drink with the idiots that I was running around with.” Peeta shakes his head. “I still can’t believe that I did all of that.”

 

“It’s kind of hard to picture, honestly.” I look down at our hands that are still clasped tightly together. It feels like he’s talking about somebody else.

 

“And then one night during my junior year, we were at this older guy’s house. I started drinking heavily. Stupid.”

 

“I drank so much that if the other guys hadn’t decided to leave then I probably would have just blacked out- it was bad. But they did decide to leave, and somehow we ended up outside of this restaurant. One of the guys started mouthing off to me, I can’t even remember what it was about now. But we started shoving each other, and then I remember that he landed a few good hits on me.”

 

“I must have lost all sense of reason by then, because I flew into a rage. I grabbed this tire iron out of the backseat of the car, and went after him with it. He backed away from me until he was standing against the restaurant’s front window, and as I was bringing it down to hit him he ducked, and the glass shattered into a million pieces. An alarm went off.”

 

“Peeta! What happened?” The sound of my voice is shrill- this is not at all what I was expecting to hear from him. 

 

“It was so surreal, Katniss. I just stood there in shock while everybody else ran off, my feet were stuck and my head was spinning.”

 

“The only thought going through my mind was that I could have killed that guy, and it scared the shit out of me.”

 

Peeta stops talking to look over at me, and I can’t think of a thing to say. “Surprised?” he asks, his face unreadable.

 

I nod, replying the only way that I can. “What happened after that?”

 

“After that? The police showed up. I remember that they put me in the back of the police car, but the rest of the night is foggy because I kept passing out. I spent the night in a holding cell at the juvenile detention center. There wasn’t video on the outside, and I think the guy who hit me was worried the cops would find out he attacked me first, because no one ever mentioned anything about the fight. The only thing I got charged with was vandalizing because I broke the window.”

 

“When my dad showed up later that night to take me home, it was the worst time of my life. He wouldn’t even look at me. I know that he had to be wondering what happened to that nice kid I used to be, riding home in the back seat of his car smelling like a distillery and my own vomit. We got home and all that he told me was to ‘take a shower and go to my room’.”

 

“I had a summons to show up for felony arraignment a few days later. The magistrate gave me a public defender and entered a not guilty plea for me since I was a minor, and when my dad took me to meet my attorney later that day, she advised me keep my mouth shut about what had really happened or she’d, and I quote, ‘kick my ass’.”

 

“And I was lucky, because over the following weeks, she took the time to get to know me. She let me talk about what had been happening with my life, without my dad around, and it helped to have someone to talk to. I even talked to her about you.” He squeezes my hand.  

 

“She eventually had a heart-to-heart with the juvenile probation officer who’d been pre-assigned to my case, and they hammered out out a suggested plea bargain the DA was willing to agree to: I had a good school history, and I guess home lives like mine are a dime a dozen in their business, so they try to give people a second chance the first time around. They lowered it to a misdemeanor. All I had to do was not be a jerk to my PO, take some anger and alcohol classes, do a crap load of community work service, and pay the restaurant for the window.”

 

Peeta raises his eyebrows at me as I process everything he just said. “That sounds like hell.”

 

“Believe me, it was. Have you ever heard the expression ‘scared straight’? Well, that’s definitely what it did to me. It was bad, but I can’t really say that I wish it hadn’t happened, because it woke me up to what I’d become.”

 

“Your mother.” I can just imagine how horrified he must have been at the realization.

 

“Exactly.” He picks his mug up and takes a drink of what must be stone-cold tea by now. “The whole thing was the wakeup call I needed. And there were so many people that helped me, gave me the support I needed to get through it.” 

 

Peeta nods his head back towards the kitchen. “Castor owns the restaurant. He actually gave me a job here so I could make the money to pay him restitution, which completely floored me. I worked in the back kitchen all summer, forty hours a week of dishwashing and grunt work, because my parents wouldn’t let me set foot in the bakery again until I ‘proved myself’ to them. Honestly, after what I did I couldn’t really blame my dad.”

 

“And my parole officer and my public defender were great, I just kept my head down and did what they told me. According to them, I was a  ‘model juvenile delinquent,’ of all things.”

 

I take a minute to process everything he’d said. It’s shocking, but I find that I’m accepting it all a lot better than I thought that I would. It’s obvious that he isn’t that guy anymore, and has moved on with his life. “Thank you for telling me all of that, Peeta. You didn’t have to.”

 

He shakes his head.”The thing is Katniss, I needed to tell you, because I want you to know everything about me. I want you to know both the good stuff and the bad stuff.” 

 

He picks up our check and reaches into his wallet to pull out some cash. We stand up, but before we walk up to the front he tells me, “I don’t want to give you any reason to let me go, because I don’t think I can let go of you.”

  
  


“So will I still see you Sunday?” Peeta leans in the window of my car.  We’d made the walk back to my car in near silence, my mind spinning with everything he’s just shared with me.

 

“Of course. You didn’t scare me off, Peeta. I’m made of sterner stuff than that.” I tell him, turning my key forward in the ignition. “Now give me a kiss, jailbird.”

 

He laughs, and I reach up to kiss him. It’s warm and affectionate, comforting. I want him to know that I’m not afraid of a future with him, and that I appreciate the way he laid himself open to me tonight.

 

I pull back first. “So, Sunday then- and I’m sure that I’ll talk to you sooner.”

 

“I can’t wait.” His smile is relaxed, so I know he understands. He backs away from the car and lifts his hand. “Bye, Katniss.”

 

“Bye Peeta.” I put my car into gear and drive off, feeling much lighter than I did on the way here.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Was anybody surprised by this chapter? (I hope so)  
> Comments are greatly appreciated, and just one more chapter to go. Thanks for coming on this adventure with me!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here, the last chapter. I'm thrilled to be posting this-the last chapter of my first WIP!!!! (I finished it, yessss!) 
> 
> It feels like a really big moment in my life and I wouldn't be here it if it weren't for all of you guys!
> 
> For those who have commented on my story, you guys are awesome. Comments mean so much, I just love talking to all of you!
> 
> Thanks to the Everlark fandom for reading and making me feel right at home with your crew. You are all lovely people. 
> 
> Thanks to my friend dandeliononfire for being a huge encouragement to me! (kisses & hugs)
> 
> The biggest thanks goes to evvykurler, my friend and beta, the right hand in keeping this story going. Beta actually doesn't seem like a strong enough word because she's the best :).
> 
> I own nothing related to the Hunger Games or The Office, just having a little fun with them!

 

“You were right, Katniss. Michael Scott is the best,” Peeta laughs around a mouthful of popcorn, his eyes glued to the television. We have been parked on my couch for hours now watching episode after episode of _The Office_. I hadn’t exactly planned on the two of us sitting here all afternoon, but Peeta wouldn’t budge once he got a good look at Dwight Schrute. My own first time reaction to Dwight was similar, but I’m over it now. He’s all Angela’s.

 

Mom and Prim are out grocery shopping at the moment, and when they get back with supplies we are going to make dinner. I’m pretty sure that Peeta is actually going to be the one doing most of the work while the rest of us watch. I don’t think that he particularly minds, because I actually heard him give my mom a ten minute lecture on what cheeses, flour, and brands of yeast are acceptable purchases and which are not.

 

“I never said that Michael was the _best_ , I’m pretty sure that my exact words were ‘he is the _worst_ ’.” I bat his arm away when he attempts to stick one hand into the popcorn bowl.

 

“Same difference,” Peeta leans over and tries again to grab a handful, but I just hold the bowl up over my head. I can’t say exactly why it is that I’m messing with him but It’s probably boredom related.

 

“I don’t want you to ruin your appetite,” I shrug before taking my own handfull and stuffing it in my mouth.

 

Peeta snickers, before lunging at me in an attempt to grab the bowl. I dart away quickly and begin to stand up, but he moves more quickly than I would have thought. Peeta throws his arms around me and tugs me back down onto the couch so that popcorn goes flying everywhere and we land in a heap.

 

“Now look what you made me do!” I squirm in his arms, trying to get out of his tight grasp. Peeta just laughs and squeezes me harder.

 

“I didn’t make you do anything, woman. You were the one hogging the snacks.” His hands slide down my sides and before I know it his fingers are dancing across my ribs.

 

“Peeta stop it!” I can’t help but laugh as I squirm back and forth, trying to get away. He’s so strong, his arms a vise grip around my upper body.

 

But where I might lack in strength I make up for in stubbornness, eventually managing to catch him off guard. He’s not expecting it when I work one arm lose and give him a pinch on his bicep, hard _._

 

“Ouch!” he hollers, and I think that I’m going to make my escape but Peeta just latches on more firmly.

 

“You can’t get away from me that easy, Everdeen!” He laughs, pulling me back to rest against his chest, the play-fight over. I relax, and in turn can feel the tension go out of his grasp. And just like that, I’m not in a big hurry to get up anymore so I lean back against him and he rests his chin on my shoulder. I’m really starting to love snuggling with Peeta like this.

 

I’ve never been described as a warm person by anyone but my family, and I really prefer not to be touched by others. In fact I happen to have a very distinct memory of Gale telling me that I came off “about as cuddly as a porcupine.” I agreed with the sentiment at the time, but Peeta makes me feel warm and cared for and I curl up with him every chance that I get.

 

It’s been almost three weeks since Peeta moved in to his apartment, and we’ve been spending most of our time together ever since. I was concerned that my friends and family would be irritated with me.

 

“We’ll see you more when the newness wears off,” Madge reassured me over the phone the other day. “Don’t worry about it, Katniss. Just enjoy yourself. Honestly- I’m just happy to have another guy around besides Gale. Peeta seems like he would be a calming presence for my boyfriend. Why don’t we just plan to get together soon if you’re feeling bad about it?”

 

So that’s what Madge and I decided to do. The four of us, along with Thresh and a girl that he’s started seeing recently, are going to a baseball game in the capitol next week. It should be a lot of fun.

 

Peeta and I never did have that conversation about whether we are ‘together’ or not, but there was a definite shift in our relationship after the night of our big talk. I think sharing his past mistakes with me enabled Peeta to let go of some of the baggage he was carrying around, and his worries about whether he was good enough for me or not.

 

I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around everything Peeta shared with me that night. It’s not that I don’t believe his story, it’s just shocking to think of the kind, mild-mannered guy that I know behaving like that.

 

I suppose that we all have darker things hiding inside of us, things that are twisted by trauma and then brought to the surface. What else would you call a childhood full of physical abuse at the hand of a parent, followed by your whole life being uprooted, without any contact from your friends and extended family for years? I’m so proud of Peeta for turning his life around despite those early mistakes, and his unwillingness to let bad choices hijack his whole life.

 

Once we came to the unspoken decision that we’re together now, there was no keeping our relationship a secret any longer. Peeta even stops in at _Sae’s_ on his lunch hour a few days a week to visit me. Whatever gossip was going around the diner about the Mellarks seems to have died off since the day that he kissed me goodbye in front of the entire restaurant. It left my head spinning, but he just pulled away and winked at me before walking out the door.

 

I guess that’s one way to change the topic of conversation.

 

That kiss resulted in a few sheepish glances from customers, and an honest apology from Effie Trinket. And of course Sae gave me me her seal of approval right away.

 

“That’s a good-lookin’ boy you got there Katniss. Polite, and a real hard worker from what I hear,” she informs me as Peeta is leaving. Her eyes follow him out the door before she turns to me with a mischievous look, “and he’s got a nice tush.”

 

“Sae!”

 

I scowl at her, but she just winks. “Honey, I might be old but I’m not dead.”

 

After lots of begging from Peeta, the two of us decided to visit the archery range on Monday. He was kind of hopeless at shooting so we decided that it might be better if he just watched.

 

“I love getting to see you shoot,” he told me as I released another arrow, which landed right beside the one already in the dead center of the bullseye. Peeta laughed when he realized that he couldn’t distract me. “Next time though, let’s do something that I’m good at. This is killing my ego.”

 

“You’re probably the least egotistical guy I know,” I reply casually, bending over to grab another arrow from my case.

 

He just shrugs and stands from his chosen spot, leaning up against a tree. “Fair is fair.”

 

“That’s fine with me, I’ll let you decide what we do next time. Deal?” I set my equipment down and hold out my hand to shake.

 

But Peeta just smirks and pulls me closer, touching his forehead to mine. “That’s not how I want to seal a deal with you,” he says lowly.

 

“I just don’t want you to get carried away ‘sealing a deal’ out here, or whatever it is that you want to call it.” But I kiss him anyway.

 

We eventually went out on that real date he promised me. Saturday he picked me up and drove us to _District 8,_ a new restaurant in our neighboring town. The food was delicious, and after eating we walked downtown to a little art festival that was being held in their park.

 

“If I’d found out about this show any sooner, I would have submitted something,” Peeta tells me, peering carefully at an abstract painting of what appears to be a dog’s hind leg.

 

“I’m sure that you must have artwork that looks better than this.” I’m no art connoisseur, but that picture is just weird. “Why haven’t you showed me any of your work yet?” I ask as we move to the next painting.

 

“Sometime I will. Most of my pieces are still in storage in dad’s garage.” Peeta clasps my hand and knotts his fingers through mine. “It’s mostly nudes, just so you know…” he jokes as we move further down the row.

 

I snort. “I’m sure that they are, Peeta.” I scowl at him and he just laughs. “I thought that you were as pure as the fresh fallen snow.”

 

He lets out a belly laugh at my retort. ”I never said that, not once. But now that you mention it, I’m pretty sure that you’re the pure one.” He lifts my hand up and kisses it. “And that’s just fine with me. Perfect, actually.”

 

The two of us are making a real effort to take things slow. So far it’s working out, but it gets harder to keep our hands to ourselves every day.

 

The other night I found myself standing on the back step of the bakery after it had closed up for the evening. Peeta and I’d made plans to meet up. He insisted that it was time to show off some skills of his own, and as I was lifting my hand to knock on the back door I heard a commotion coming from above my head.

 

There’s the sound of wood creaking and then, “Hey! You’re here sooner than I thought.” I look up and see Peeta, giving me a lopsided grin from his apartment window. “The door’s unlocked, so go ahead and let yourself in. I’ll be down in a minute.”

 

Peeta had obviously just gotten out of the shower because his hair was wet, and _oh my sweet heavens_ the top half of his body was bare. I couldn’t help but stare, there was just...so much to look at. He was all broad, defined muscle and when he rested his elbows on the window ledge it did wonderful things to his arms. I felt my face flush.

 

“Okay, see you in a few,” I call up weakly, forcing myself to look away from him as I open the bakery door. I’ve never felt this level of attraction to a guy before.

 

He just does things to me. And it isn’t just his appearance, it’s also his kindness and the way that he looks at me like I’ve been sent to him directly out of his dreams.

 

By the time Peeta does walk through the back door a few minutes later I’ve managed to resume acting like a normal human being again, mostly. “Hey you.” My breath only catches a little as I smile at him in greeting.

 

He’s beautiful.

 

“Hey yourself. Sorry, I guess that I wasn’t expecting you yet.” He leans over and kisses me on the cheek.

 

I blush a little, remembering my thoughts from a few moments ago. “No big deal, I might have been early.”

 

Peeta runs a hand through his still damp hair and nods at the refrigerator. “Are you hungry? There’s some leftover pastries in the cooler if you want, I wasn’t sure if you ate dinner yet?”

 

Why would dinner have anything to do with pastries? “I had a sandwich before I left the house, but saved some room just in case,” I reply as he walks across the room to open the refrigerator. “What do I have to choose from?”

 

I silently hope that he tells me there are cheese buns- technically not a pastry, but that’s just splitting hairs.

 

Peeta turns around carrying a small tray in his hands. “Ooh, sorry- no cheese buns. But there are some cinnamon rolls left,” he sets the tray down on the counter and pulls the plastic wrap off. After picking up one of the aforementioned rolls, he holds it out to me. “What are you going to give me for it?” he teases, his eyes twinkling.

 

“How about you just give it to me now and nobody gets hurt?” I step closer to him in mock threat but Peeta just laughs. I snatch it out of his hand and turn to walk away from him, before I do though I change my mind and give him a peck on the lips. Why would I pass up that opportunity?

 

“There, how’s that?”

 

“Much better.” He smiles widely and bends down to kiss me again. Standing so close to him like this I breathe in the clean smell of his shampoo mixed with the smell of _him_ and it makes me feel tingly. I open my mouth slightly, inviting him to take it further if he wants. Peeta slips his tongue in and I sigh, stepping closer to press my chest up against his. Soon we’re both tasting each other, breathing heavily and letting our hands roam.

 

His hands slide down my sides to rest at my waist, before moving around to my back. Peeta starts to move lower, _yes-finally,_ I think, but then stops himself.

 

Dammit.

 

Peeta’s hands clench as he breaks the kiss and pulls back, and I’m left with the feeling that he just physically restrained himself as he gives me a tight smile. “Sorry Katniss, we’re never going to get anything done this way.”

 

I watch him cross the room to the supply shelf and can’t help but feel frustrated, but then I have to roll my eyes at myself. We both agreed to get to know each other better before taking things further than this.

 

_“I just like you so much Katniss, and I don’t want to mess anything up by jumping into things before we’re both ready.” Peeta said those exact words to me that first Sunday at his apartment._

 

_We were alone after Peeta’s brother Philip, who I had discovered was a really funny guy but also a complete jackass, had left. He’d helped Peeta to move his things into the apartment, and then stayed for a while to eat pizza and drink some beer with us before driving back home._

 

_Peeta and I sat side by side on his couch and I couldn’t help the nervous anticipation that cracked through my body. Things felt different between us now that everything was out in the open. Mystery solved, skeletons aired out._

 

_I just sat there looking at him, my eyes darting around his face like they didn't know where to land._

 

_“What are you thinking about?” Peeta asked me quietly, scooting closer and angling his body towards mine._

 

_I shrugged, feeling a little shy, “Oh, I don’t know…” He caught me off guard by tilting his head to the side and pressing his mouth to mine in a warm, soft kiss. The sensation of his lips on mine made my brain buzz and I never did get to finish the sentence._

 

_I guess that Peeta wasn’t really expecting an answer._

 

_I felt myself shudder a little and kissed him back, leaning closer. The movement started soft, but eventually he slid the tip of his tongue along my bottom lip and my lips parted for him, the motion so smooth and quick that I didn’t even have to think about it. Our mouths and tongues moving in tandem felt like fireworks and I let out an embarrassing moan when he sucked on my bottom lip._

 

_Peeta groaned and leaned in closer, my noise of approval lighting a fire in him. He cradled my face while we kissed, and I ran my palms across those strong arms of his that I’d been dying to touch. Our mouths pulled away and came back together. I’d move my head one direction and he would go the other, discovering which way kept us the closest. Our lips slipped and slid, tongues brushing first lightly and then more and more aggressively. We ended up exploring each other’s mouths for a long time, breathing each other in while our hands only roamed a little, staying in mostly PG places. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before, the heat and the ragged breathing, and the way my blood seemed to be thundering through my body._

 

_But eventually we pulled back from each other, and while it was very obvious that we both enjoyed what had just happened, it seemed like that was as far as we wanted to take it for now._

 

_“But we can keep doing this, right?” I ask him, looking at his red lips. I reached my hand up to rub a thumb across my own mouth, imagining that my lips looked as swollen as his._

 

_Peeta just stared at me, nodding his head vigorously before pulling me back towards him._

 

I have to take a big bite of the cinnamon roll just to occupy my mouth with something. “So, what do you have planned?” I ask him around a much too large mouthful.

 

Peeta looks over from where he gathers ingredients off the shelves. “Well, I remembered you mentioning something to me about learning to make bread, so I thought we’d do that. I picked out an easy recipe. No matter what, I don't think that it’s possible to screw it up.”

 

With that comment the last chunk of the cinnamon roll I was eating flies by his head. “What was that for?”

 

I shrug. Maybe I’m feeling a _tad_ irritated with him for pulling away from me earlier.

 

“Besides, I thought your aim was better than that,” Peeta turns back around to finish gathering his ingredients after picking the piece up off of the floor and trashing it.

 

“We both _know_ that my aim is better than that,” I retort.

 

Peeta sets the supplies down on the counter before grabbing a measuring cup and filling it with warm water from the tap. “Yes, that’s true, but you’re in my domain now, Everdeen. So you have to play by my rules,” he jokes before setting the container down to grab a bowl. “I’ll just measure the ingredients and you can mix them together. Sound good?”

 

“I don’t think that I can screw that up.” True to his word, Peeta measures out the dry ingredients for me and I whisk them together. I switch out the whisk for a spatula as he instructs me to do. He adds yeast and olive oil to the water, which he then proceeds to pour into the flour mixture for me.

 

“Now, this is where it’s going to get tricky. The dough is going to get hard to stir after a minute.” And he’s right, it becomes very stiff. I give the dough a hard stir and it almost flies out of the bowl from the force.

 

“Whoa. Wait a minute, muscles. Let me show you how,” Peeta stands directly behind me and wraps his hand around mine that I’m using to hold the spatula. “You have to go slower, like this. Bread dough is just like a woman, you have to take your time with her.”

 

At that comment I narrow my eyes at him.

 

Peeta seems to think he’s hilarious.

 

“You don’t need to take that much time…” I mutter, the irritation leaking out of my tone. He just laughs and touches his lips to the side of my neck in a little kiss. I give a petulant sigh. “You can’t do that to me if I’m supposed to keep going here.”

 

“But I’m helping you.” He kisses me again. “What’s wrong, Katniss?”

 

“You’re a big tease.” I think that Peeta is having way too much fun goading me, and it’s starting to piss me off so I step away from him and nod at the bowl. “I think that dough is ready, don’t you?”

 

He gives me a funny look.

 

“Are you mad at me?” Peeta asks, his tone questioning as he leans against the counter. I can feel his eyes on my face and hear the concern in his voice. He has to know that I’m irritated.

 

“No, I’m not mad. Well, maybe a little. Just frustrated mostly. It’s just kind of frustrating. But I already said that.”

 

Good job Katniss.

 

He puts his hand under my chin, tilting it up a little but I refuse to meet his eyes, so he just keeps moving his head back and forth, following my gaze until he has me laughing. “Don’t be like that, please.”

 

Peeta’s gaze is too intense. It feels like he’s looking right inside my head, so I look down at the floor. “All I’m saying is that if you want to keep going slow- and that’s fine, we can do that- you have got to stop putting your hands all over me and teasing me, okay? It just sucks when you do that and then pull away from me.” I hate showing weakness, but I find myself quietly admitting to him, “it just feels like you’re rejecting me.”

 

“I’m sorry,” he says, and he does sound as though he feels badly. Peeta steps even closer, and his voice lowers. “I just get carried away because I _want_ to touch you all the time- you’ve got to know that. And I might enjoy teasing you a teeny bit, you just look so pretty when you blush.”

 

“Peeta…”

 

“And the scowl that you’re so well known for? It’s hot.” I give him an extra hard scowl for that comment, but Peeta juts his lower lip out in response and pretends to pout.  

 

I can’t stay mad at him though because he’s too damn cute. “Just try to cool it a little, okay? You’re driving me crazy.”

 

“I’ll try.” Peeta pulls me close and wraps his arms around my shoulders.

 

I feel myself relax. “So, the bread…” I nod at the bowl of dough we’ve been working on, ready to change the subject. “Now what do we do?”

 

“This looks perfect. Next we knead it.” He releases me and takes a handful of flour out of the bag lying on the counter, and proceeds to sprinkle it over the work surface. “Okay, just take the dough out of the bowl and lay it down on top of the flour. Then comes the fun part, you get to take out your aggression on it.” I snicker, and he grins at me.

 

“You can beat the hell out of it. I’ll show you how, and then you can finish it up.” I watch as Peeta flips the dough over on itself and pushes down on it with the flat of his palm, before turning it over again to repeat the motion. “Do you want to try? You can do what you want with it, the recipe is pretty forgiving. Give it a good punch, you’ll feel better.”

 

I step over in front of him, and ball my fist up to give it a good _whack._ Flour goes flying up and we both laugh. “There you go, don’t you feel better now?”

 

He wraps his arms around my waist and squeezes me. His hold lingers for a minute, and the mood subtly shifts from light to… something else. I hear his breath catch _,_ telling me that the shared touch is affecting him just as much. Peeta swallows hard, and his voice is husky when he speaks, his breath and lips tickling my ear. “Do you want me to help you?”

 

I wonder if my words from a minute ago are making him feel bolder. I open my mouth to speak but I can’t make the words come so I just nod my head. “Mmhm.” He presses his chest closer to my back.

 

Peeta’s covers my hands with his, and I feel warmth spread through me as I let out the breath I was holding. He spreads my fingers apart with his, and after lifting our joined hands he lets them rest on top of the bread dough. “Like this,” he says, moving them together in a rolling motion. “Slowly.”

 

We move in tandem for a moment. The motion of our hands, his warm chest pressed against my back, his breath on my neck; it all lulls me into a trance of sorts. I bite my lip hard to keep from making any noise, not trusting myself. I’m still feeling a little raw after talking to him about  my emotions. I hate to feel vulnerable and I hate to ask for anything, and since I already did both of those things today it’s his turn now to decide what happens next.

 

Moves and counter moves.

 

Peeta stops kneading and takes our joined hands off of the bread, wrapping both his and my arms around my waist. I feel his nose nuzzle behind my ear and he plants a kiss to the shell. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?” he breathes out.

 

I feel myself shudder. “No, you didn’t,” I whisper.

 

“I’m sorry, I should have. But you’re always beautiful, Katniss.” His mouth moves down and he kisses my neck. I close my eyes and he releases my hands. My head drops a little and his lips move slowly down to my shoulder as his hands go to my waist.

 

“I think about you all the time,” he tells me. “You’re the only thing I’m able to think about. I think about all the things we do together, and all of the things I want to do with you.” His hands slide up and I feel his thumbs brush the underside of my breast. I suck in a breath in anticipation.

 

I don’t want him to stop...but he needs to. I groan at my own barely-there self control and step away from him. I just can’t let it go any further, because this decision can’t be made in the heat of the moment.

 

“But not yet, right? It’s okay, Peeta. I can wait.”

 

He groans and drops his head. “I don’t know if I can anymore.” He’s breathing heavily, and his response makes it obvious that he’s telling me the truth. The realization makes my stomach clench with the possibilities.

 

“You can,” I tell him and step away, not trusting myself for another minute if we stand this close to each other. “Not that I want to wait, believe me. But it’s probably for the best right now.”

 

I’ve spent every night alone in my bed since then thinking about what would have happened if we hadn’t stopped that day.

 

And sitting on the couch curled up with him like this, alone together at my house, the idea of _what exactly could happen_ is definitely at the forefront of my mind. It’s probably a good thing that my family will be back soon.

 

Peeta nuzzles my neck, “You smell really good,” he says, and I feel his hands start to wander. My breath catches a little as he sneaks his hands around my back and under the hem of my shirt. “Is this okay?”

 

I turn around and look at him. He has a serious expression on his face, but his lips are parted and his eyes are hazy. In answer I lean forward and capture his mouth with mine. Yes, of course it’s okay.

 

It’s the only thing I want.

 

I guess he’s been thinking about the same things that I have.

 

I twist my body around in his arms so that I’m facing him. His warm palms run up my back, all the way to my shoulders and I’ve never felt his hands on this much of my bare skin. He pulls me forward gently, closer to him. “You’re so soft,” Peeta says, pulling back from my lips for a minute, while his fingertips trace patterns on my shoulder blades. “I just want to touch every inch of you.”

 

“Peeta,” I wish that I was good with words like him, but I’m not, “I...”

 

“Katniss?” I hear the kitchen door slam and my sister’s voice call out. Peeta and I jump back from each other like someone poked us with a cattle prod, and I quickly drop down onto the floor and start scooping the spilled popcorn up off of the floor and into the bowl in a panic. He huffs out a laugh before sliding down beside me to help.

 

“I knew that they would be back soon,” I mutter as I scoop. Of course there is a mountain of the stuff down here.

 

“It’s alright, you know. We’re adults,” Peeta reminds me as he drops another handful into the bowl. He gives me a crooked smile. “What’s the big deal? It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Besides,” he nudges my arm, and when I catch his eyes they are twinkling, “they probably think we’ve gone further than that, anyway.”

 

I just give him a scowl. It’s not like it was Peeta’s mom and sister who almost walked in on us with his hands up the back of my shirt. “All I know is, we aren’t doing anything like that here again.” I primly tell him, and feel my cheeks heat up. Why _am_ I so embarrassed?

 

He shrugs and I look away. “Okay, we’ll just do that stuff at my apartment from now on.”

 

I scoff at him, but when I catch his eye I’m shocked to find the look on his face is serious. I try not to think about the implications too much, because I’m presently trying to calm down before my family comes in the room. I’ve been told that I don’t have much of a poker face.

 

“What are you guys up to?” Prim asks, entering the room. She leans against the wall with her eyebrows raised, her eyes darting back and forth between Peeta and me. I look back down, because I can feel my cheeks still burning.

 

“I knocked the popcorn over when I got up off the couch, my foot must have been asleep from sitting here for so long. Did you guys get everything that we need?” Peeta grabs the last handful of kernels and stands to his feet.

 

Prim just shakes her head. She’s not buying the explanation, but lets the subject drop anyway. “Yes Peeta, the supplies are waiting on your talented hands. That is how you described them, right, Katniss? _Talented hands?”_

 

* * *

  
  


“You guys go on, I really don’t mind.” My mom stands over the sink, rinsing off the dishes from our meal. “I was planning to help with dinner, but since Peeta wouldn’t let me I insist on cleaning up at least.”

 

As I had expected him to do, Peeta had taken care of everything when preparing the meal. He’d shooed my mom out of the way, saying that “you three should just relax and let me handle it.” So we did, opening up some wine and taking a seat on the kitchen stools to watch him work. The food was delicious, and I couldn’t eat another bite now if I tried.

 

“Peeta, you can come over and fix us dinner anytime,” my mom says, giving him a little one-armed hug, and Prim nods her head in agreement.

 

My family likes him a lot already.

 

I think about the conversation that I had with my mom about Peeta while I watch her banter back and forth with him. She told me that I should give him a chance to explain himself before making up my mind about him, and I find every day I’m more and more thankful that I took her advice.

 

Another realization is the fact that it’s nice to have a guy puttering around the house again. It’s something that’s been missing since my dad’s been gone. The thought makes my eyes water.

 

I still miss my father so much.

 

You never really get over that kind of loss completely. But when I look over at Peeta, I realize that my father would’ve liked him a lot, because he’s exactly the kind of guy that Dad would have wanted for me.

 

Speaking of Peeta, he’s currently blowing off my mother’s praise from dinner. “I like to cook, and I had the day off from work today. Don’t feel bad, it only seemed fair,” Peeta shrugs, setting down the dish towel that he’d held in his hands. “If it makes you feel any better I won’t argue with you over the dishes. It’s so nice out, I was actually going to see if Katniss wanted to take a walk?”

 

“Sure,” I shrug. That sounds like a good idea.

 

After parting ways with Prim and my mom, we head out the back door. It’s a nice, not-too warm summer evening. “Where are we going?” I ask him, although I actually have my suspicions. This is something we haven’t talked about yet, but I felt like it’s been coming.

 

“Oh, just a few old haunts. You don’t mind, do you?” he asks as we head down the street.

 

I grab his hand and weave our fingers together. “Lead the way. Do you still know how to get around the neighborhood?”

 

“Yeah, I think so. There’s some things you never forget.”

 

It’s about a twenty minute walk, but we finally reach our first destination: a two-story house with dusty blue siding and black shutters. There’s a driveway that runs beside the house, and a well-maintained lawn with a small tree out front, with a tall fence that runs around the edge of the  back yard. It looks like a nice place to raise a family. “This is it,” Peeta squeezes my hand before pulling me to stand a little closer to him.

 

I bite my lip. “Is the first time you’ve seen it since you’ve been back?”

 

“Yeah.” He shakes his head a little, and I think that he’s trying to clear out the dark thoughts that are lingering there. “I don’t know why I’ve been avoiding it, exactly. It’s just a house.”

 

“No it’s not.” I release his hand and step closer to put my arm around his waist.

 

He wipes at the corner of his eye with his free hand. “This is so much harder than I thought it would be.”

 

I rest my head on his shoulder. I find myself thinking about all of the losses that Peeta experienced when he was uprooted from this place. His grandfather, his friends, the home where most of his childhood memories would have occured. I glance at him, and his focus is off in the distance.

 

He finally speaks and his words echo my own thoughts. “I have a lot of good memories of this place too, along with the shitty ones. Is that weird?”

 

“No, that’s not weird at all.” I step closer to him to wrap both arms around him in a hug. He squeezes me tight and rests his chin on my head.

 

“I’m really glad that you’re here with me,” he mumbles the words into the top of my head. “Thank you, Katniss.”

 

“Do you want to keep going?” I ask him, sliding my hand into his again. He nods at me, and we start walking again.

 

“It wasn’t bad all the time,” Peeta begins, after clearing his throat. “My brothers could be pretty big jerks, but not always. We used to horse around a lot, and they helped me with a lot of guy stuff that I couldn’t talk to Dad or Grandpa about. And they tried to protect me from my mom. I know they both felt terrible after seeing me that last morning...”

 

“The three of you were just kids- it wasn’t your fault,” I say.

 

Peeta comes to a stop and turns to look at me. His eyes are questioning, and he tilts his head down like he’s going in for a kiss, but then stops right before his lips touch mine. “How’d you get so smart, anyway?”

 

“Eh, I don’t know, just am.” I cross the distance to meet his mouth with my own.

 

All of this talk about the past reminds me that I’m so thankful to have him back in my life.

 

I feel Peeta smile against my lips. I can’t help but wonder if he’s thinking the same thing, and when he pulls away from me I find that the words are right there on the tip of my tongue, begging me to let them out into the open. _I love you._

 

I’m in love with him.

 

My eyes skim across his face and I feel like laughing. This sudden awareness of how deep my feelings run should probably surprise me, but it doesn’t. It’s more like a realization of something that I already knew about myself. I’ve loved him since I was a fourteen-year old girl experiencing heartbreak for the first time. He snuck up on me that day when he showed up so unexpectedly. Peeta was exactly what I needed him to be, and he wormed his way into my heart. I never let him go.  

 

This love has just been waiting on him to come back to me.

 

I look away from him, overwhelmed by the realization. I can’t say this to him here, now. Instead I tug on his hand. “Come on, let’s keep going.”

 

Peeta lets me pull him along the sidewalk until we make it to the park. It’s a much different scene this evening than the last time we were here. The ball fields are full, and there are young children running back and forth across the playground, harried mothers and fathers and older siblings chasing after them.

 

“I was going to ask you to swing, but they’re all full.” He remarks as we walk past the playground. The breeze ruffles his blond waves, and I catch the scent of fresh- cut grass carried in the air. It’s surreal to be here with him again, I feel as though we’ve been transported back in time.

 

I swallow at the lump in my throat and think about that long-gone spring day. I can see it all in my mind. The swings, the sunset, the walk back to my house where we spent the night together.

 

But I suddenly remember something that hadn’t registered with me until this moment. “Wait a minute, Peeta.” We pause and I bend over to pick up the little yellow flower. When I stand back up I grasp its stem between my fingertips and give it a spin.

 

The park had been full of these that day. Dandelions, as far as the eye could see, a field of yellow stretching from one end to the other. An early, first sign of spring and the world awakening from its winter slumber, with its hope that life will go on no matter our losses.

 

Why hadn’t I remembered that detail until now?

 

I look up at Peeta and tell him, “This is for you.”  I tuck the stem behind his ear, and he’s wearing that confused look on his face again, the one that makes me smile every time I see it.

 

I love him so much.

 

“What’s going on up there?” he asks, tapping his finger lightly behind my ear.

 

The upward stretch of his lips causes his pretty blue eyes to crinkle up in the corners in the way that I love. The sun is glinting off of those long eyelashes of his, and his eyes are so warm and full of affection that the words just tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them.

 

“I love you, Peeta.” I laugh as soon as the words are out of my mouth. “I’m _in_ love with you, actually.” I’ve always been known for my impulsiveness, no more so than right now. He doesn’t say anything for a minute.

 

Should I have waited to tell him? No- no matter what his response is right now I had to say it.

 

“You love me. Me. Really?” Peeta’s eyes come back into focus and his face splits into a huge smile. I don’t think that this is a typical reaction to hearing someone say that they love you for the first time, but it feels right for us. Peeta pulls me into his arms so quickly that I would have stumbled if his grip on me hadn’t been so tight. “I was just going to tell you the same thing! Katniss, I’m in love with you. I’m head over heels in love with you, and I always have been.”

 

“I know.” And I do know, but really- _I know? That’s the best thing that you can come up with right now?_ I rethink my words. “I’m just so glad that you came back to me, Peeta.”

 

He presses a soft kiss to my lips before saying, “I’m sorry that it took a long time to get here.”

 

I shake my head at him, done with regrets and remorse about the past. Today is a new day.

“Don’t be sad, we have all the time in the world.” I look over his shoulder and happen to notice the setting sun then. “Peeta,” I tell him, “look.”

 

We watch it disappear behind the horizon, and I take his hand, leading him back to my house. My heart is full. It doesn’t seem possible for all of this happiness to be all mine.

 

The last time Peeta and I took this walk together I had a myriad of emotions warring in my mind, along with uncertainty about the direction that my life was going. I was lost and scared. I’d felt alone.

 

Today is so different.

 

Today I have Peeta next to me, and the only thing that I feel is hope. I might not know where I’m going, but I do know that he will be with me when I get there.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, I have major feelings over posting the last chapter of this story. I really hope that you guys enjoyed this!


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